Distant Memories
by Aerilon452
Summary: John comes back to the Sanctuary with no memory other than knowing his name is Montague and that he is something more than before. My first Xover story for Sanctuary and i am mixing it with the movie Blood and Chocolate.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

**DISTANT MEMORIES:**

Pain exploded in his head, in his chest; it exploded all over his body until an eerie howl of agony was ripped from his throat. He was once again whole, once again in the mortal world. But he couldn't remember anything other than his name; Montague. Looking around with new eyes he saw stars, stone walls, cobblestones. He rolled to his knees wrapping his arms around his shivering body. Where was he? Why was he here? Why did his body hurt so much? Montague didn't know and that scared him. Something was wrong, something he had no way of fixing. Another howl bubbled up from his chest spilling out of his mouth to alert the night of the anguish he was feeling.

**HELEN'S OFFICE:**

Helen was sitting at her desk finishing up paper work when an ominous howl broke the serenity of the night. "What in Gods name?" she moved from her desk quickly going to the window to look down into the courtyard. In the dark she saw a figure but she couldn't make out much more than that.

"Helen!" Nikola came through the open door looking at Helen standing at the window, "Did you…?" The Sanctuary was eerie enough at night without the sounds of a wolf howling. And that was exactly what it had been; a wolf. Nikola knew that sound better than anything else.

"Yes, I heard it." She pointed out the window to the figure lying once again on her cobblestone drive way. "I think the sound came from our mysterious guest down there." Helen could hardly keep the excitement out of her voice. Things around her Sanctuary had been far too quiet for far too long. She needed a new mystery to work out, to solve.

"We should not go out there. That was a wolf's howl. Wolves generally don't…" Nikola tried to talk Helen out of going outside. He already knew that she was going to and he needed to stop her.

"Then don't come with me," Helen smiled grabbing for a flashlight and her gun. Having what she needed she set out for the front doors to greet the new guest.

Outside in the pitch black Helen brought the flash light to life with a light click and trained the light on the back of the figure on his knees. The man was pale with a cross hatch of whip marks on his back tapering down into the waist band of the leather pants he was wearing. She even saw blood. "Dear Lord." Helen rushed to the side of the man seeing the last face she had ever expected to see. "John?"

Montague heard when the doors had opened. His whole body went rigid with the knowledge that someone was watching him. Again the questions bombarded his mind. Still he kept his body still and waited to see if the human was friend or foe. Would he have to fight? Then a scent reached him and some how he knew it, but he didn't know how. That scent, the gentle all consuming smell of roses, lulled him putting him totally at ease. It was the name that drew him; her voice was soft as she called him John. He couldn't remember the name but the woman at his side was familiar. "Do I know you?" Montague mumbled moving back from her. He wasn't used to the human body he had been forced back into and he stumbled, landing on his back.

Helen put aside any misgivings she might have been feeling upon seeing his face. John was hurt and he needed help. She was a doctor and took an oath to ease the suffering in others. The real trick was coaxing his in the house. John looked like he didn't trust her. "John, you know me. I'm Helen." She held out her hand to him, "Take my hand. It's ok." It was an extreme effort to keep her voice light after everything that had happened between them.

"I don't know you." He said quickly, but his brain pointed out how they sounded the same; the same accent. Maybe, just maybe she knew him. How could she know him when he didn't know himself? Fear was creeping into his body. It was making it easy for the wolf to come foreword to take over. His wolf was pure instinct, pure survival. Montague shook his head backing away even more.

Nikola lingered by the door watching the scene play out before him. If Johnny boy was playing a game then it was very elaborate with top rate acting. It set Nikola on edge, but there was that little voice in the back of his mind that screamed at him that John Druitt wasn't faking. Some thing had fought Druitt and come out victorious over the powerful abnormal. That was enough to worry Tesla. Leaving the safety of the front doors Nikola slowly walked over to where Helen was crouched near Druitt trying to coax him closer to her. The minute he crouched down next to her Druitt growled at him. It was a deadly sound that made Nikola want to back up. "Is he faking it?"

"No," Helen shook her head with her hand still held out to John. The growl confirmed that on some level he knew her and Nikola. "John please, take my hand so I can get you inside. You need medical treatment." Helen doubted that he would reach out to her. He never had in the past.

Montague looked from her hand to the strange man standing next to her. They were both oddly familiar and it unsettled him. Why was he here with them? Out of self disgust Montague growled again. He gained his feet and turned his back on them. Pacing. He needed to pace. It helped in him think better. Montague started a furious back and forth motion while the two strangers watched on in bewilderment. Montague stopped. "How do you know me?" He asked out of puzzlement. The woman seemed familiar to him but he couldn't place her.

"We're your friends." Helen motioned between herself and Nikola. "We want to help you."

"We do?"

"Shut up." Helen snarled. John was talking and she wanted to keep up the foreword momentum. "Please, just take my hand, and we'll go inside." In that moment John reached out to her placing his hand in hers. He was so warm, warmer than she remembered. "There, see, I won't hurt you." Helen added a gentle smile and John returned it. Only his had the hint of mistrust. Deep down that wounded her.

**INFIRMARY:**

Montague sat on one of the beds smelling the antiseptic and other medical supplies. It made his stomach roll with nausea. He wanted to vomit but fought against it. A cold stinging broke out on his back causing him to hiss in pain. He hadn't realized that his back had been clawed up so badly. "How bad is it?" His voice was a whisper. Exhaustion had settled in to war with the nausea and the mistrust. Montague hoped his mind settled on a feeling soon or he would pass out.

"At first I thought these were whip marks. But now they look like claw marks. What happened to you?" Helen asked as she continued to clean out the deep lacerations of his back. John barely flinched when she started using the peroxide to irrigate the wounds. So much of his strength was ingrained in him. What could have made him forget everything that he was? Maybe it was for the better. If John couldn't remember all the evil that he had done, maybe they had a chance. But did she want that chance? Possibly and then she didn't. This would be the perfect chance to say goodbye to John and all that they were for good. The question was did Helen have the strength to go through with it?

"I don't know." Montague answered shrugging his shoulders. More pain exploded in his back with a thin trail of blood dripping down his flesh. As quick as he could Montague bounded off the bed and backed away from the woman helping him.

Helen hadn't meant to hurt him. She drew her hands back in a flash with John getting off the gurney. He looked as predatory as ever with massive changes to his appearance. At one time his eyes were the clear blue she had been used to. Now they were glowing liquid amber. The eyes seemed to fit into his face better than the blue as they were set against the midnight black of his hair. Everything about John was changed. "I'm sorry."

"It's ok." Montague bowed his head coming back to sit on the gurney. Her touch had been so light, so welcome, that he shouldn't have run away from it. "I guess my wounds are still pretty raw." Montague gathered up his long black hair and twisted it so he could tuck it up through the small band of braids he kept tied together. It was enough that his hair would stay out of the blood. Again her gentle touch worked over his battered back. Montague felt at ease.

Helen set about cleaning out the blood again as gently as she could while studying the small intricate braids in John's hair as well as the beads that adorned the ends of them. "Most of your wounds are on the mend so they shouldn't need bandages." She removed her gloves and used her right hand to stroke the back of John's head. He flinched. John actually flinched at her touch. She drew her hand back again feeling at a loss as to what to do with him. Helen tried another approach. "Do you want to sleep? Or are you hungry?" At the mention of hunger John's stomach growled and she chuckled gently.

Montague had forgotten how hungry he had been until just now when she had mentioned getting something to eat. Food sounded so good to him. Again he stood and this time he stretched feeling the extent of his injuries. By tomorrow his body would be healed, at least he hoped so. "I am famished." Montague turned to her confirming what his stomach already told her. He moved past her towards the door and waited for her.

Helen joined him feeling uneasy as to what to say to him so she mentioned the first thing that came to her mind, "I was admiring the beads in you hair. I've never seen you style your hair like that before." It was the truth. In all the years Helen had known John, even before the blood, he had kept his hair simple tied back in a ribbon. She actually liked the new style he had.

"I think I used to when I was younger, back when I lived in Bucharest." Montague answered and assumed it was the truth. He could remember the streets, the people, and his people like he had just been there yesterday. There was even the face of a man no older than himself tat he was remembering. "I think my cousin Gabriel talked me into this." Still he did not look at her.

"I never met any of your family." Helen wanted to put her hand on his shoulder to get him to look at her but she didn't. She was wary that he would flinch at her touch again. Now she knew what John had felt when she flinched at him. "You always said I was better off not knowing them."

"If I said that, then it must be true." His people didn't exactly welcome humans to know about them; about the Loup-Garrou. It was the fundamental rule he lived by; secrecy. Montague intended for her not to know what he truly was. Humans would love nothing more than to kill his kind if they ever learned that they still roamed the world. The old days were gone.

"Oh," Helen looked away from him gazing at the walls. John was acting closed off, distant. Why was his behavior hurting her? Wasn't this what she wanted? Didn't she want to be free from him? Now that she was getting that, Helen wasn't sure it was what she truly wanted anymore. Helen was still running through her thoughts when she pressed the button to call for the elevator. When the doors opened she walked inside but John didn't follow her. Instead he was growling. Looking up Nikola was waiting there leaving against the wall in the back just staring at John.

Montague backed up growling at the other man. He had been outside staring at him when the woman was trying to coax him inside. There was that feeling again that the other man was someone he knew and didn't like very well. When it came to instincts, Montague was always going to listen to them.

"Geez Johnny boy, you're acting like I'm going to try and kill you." Nikola said splaying his fingers over his heart, "When have I ever done that?" he was lying and he knew it.

"I don't trust you," The growl wouldn't leave his voice and Montague was content to let it rumble in his chest.

"Think twice before you try and attack me." Nikola let his claws extend and his face contort into the face of his race; the vampires. "I'm not so easy to kill." He too growled at Druitt.

Montague backed away letting his body tense. Where had he come to? He looked at the woman and waited for her to say something. Right now he would take his cues from her. It seemed the safest way to survive at the moment until he was strong enough to get back to Romania where he knew he would be safer. She nodded at him. Slowly he moved into the elevator and waited with the warning growl still rumbling in his chest.

"Oh for heavens sake, John stop growling, and Nikola put your claws away." Helen ordered both men. They were acting even more childish than before when John knew who he was. She only shook her head when both men did as they were told.

**BEFORE DAWN:**

Montague sat on the floor with his back pressed against the wall and his head lowered while his legs were bent at the knee. He had stared at the bed for a few minutes, debating just falling into the inviting covers, but opted against it in favor of sitting on the floor trying to piece together the scattered fragments of his memory. It was there that he fell asleep and hen he was being woke up by the soft scent of roses; her scent. Opening his eyes he watched her come to him in the darkness.

"You do know you can sleep in the bed?" Helen asked sitting down on the floor to face John. He was such a puzzle to her in this state. She wasn't sure she liked him this way or back to his normal self.

"I'm fine on the floor." Montague lowered his head again. Would he go back to sleep? Probably. There was something about he that soothed his soul enough so that he left down his guard; but only for her. Why was that? What power did she hold over him?

"John…"

"That's not my name, so please stop calling me that." Montague snarled. She looked away and he could sense her hurt.

"Then what should I call. I've known you by the name of John for well over 137 years." Helen snapped rising to her feet to move away from him.

"Don't go, I'm sorry," He truly was sorry. Making her angry wasn't what he had meant to do. "Please," Montague stood up. "I just don't remember that name. Call me Montague."

"You always hated your first name." Helen mused looking at him again. Things between them could be new; at least for him. He had no memory of her and she still remembered him. How cruel was that? It made her wonder what John had done.

"I don't remember that. In fact I don't remember a lot of my life. All I know is what I am and my first name." Montague explained.

"What are you?" Helen asked sitting on the edge of the bed. She hadn't had the heart to run a DNA analysis on John from the blood she had cleaned off of him. It had been tempting, but she would talk to him first.

John lowered his head letting his hair fall into his face, "I am something the humans believe does not exist anymore," It was the truth in a round about way. His secret was safe and she got her question answered.

"Montague," Helen smiled. How could she not? He just described their life in a simple cryptic sentence. "You're something more than you were before. This I know because I know you." She stood up and gave into the need to touch him. Helen reached out her hand gently placing it on his shoulder. "Sleep in the bed and we'll talk more tomorrow."

"Don't you mean later today?" Montague called after her with a wicked smile playing on his lips, but he did as he was told. His body ached and his mind was half asleep. Settling himself beneath the covers he let sleep carry him into another world where the dream gods waited to torment him of images of the woman who helped him.

**EARLY EVENING:**

Helen walked through her Sanctuary going towards John's room. She wanted to try and talk to him again now that she had run a blood test on him. The faint trace of Source Blood was gone from his DNA. Though, as far as she could tell he was still a teleporter. At least she hoped so. That power defined John more so than his knowledge and his ability to kill. It was his freedom and she would hate to see that striped from him. Helen turned a corner and encountered Nikola standing in John's opened doorway.

"He's not here." Nikola spoke knowing that Helen had just come around the corner. He found it oddly annoying that with every step she took her heart picked up in beat in anticipation of seeing Druitt again.

"What?" Helen moved past Nikola to look inside John's room. No John. The bed had, at least, been slept in. "I wonder were he could have gone?"

"Maybe he left," Nikola mused stepping out of her way. That would make him supremely happy. If Druitt wasn't here Nikola's day would vastly improve.

"No, alarms would have gone off had he attempted to leave the property." Helen answered. That still didn't answer the question of where he was. Her team didn't even know John was back in the Sanctuary yet.

"You really can't let him go can you?" Tesla knew the answer and it hurt him. He was surprised at how much.

Helen didn't turn, didn't look at Nikola as she answered. "I've lost him too many times, I can't lose him again." The words spilled out of her mouth and she didn't want to call them back. She was tired of lying where it came to John. He was still so much apart of her life that she felt so isolated without him around her, without hearing his voice.

"Back up, this man has tormented you, lied to you, and nearly got you killed. You still want to help him?" Nikola threw up his hands in disgust.

"Gee, Nikola, you just described yourself." Helen sniped and then sighed. "John is… everything to me. I had to watch as he fed that creature all the energy it could take and eradicate all traces of the John I knew; the John you knew." She shook her head lightly, "You know what they say; love if blind."

"Deaf, dumb, and blind more like it." Nikola sneered.

"Excuse me? Of all the times I've helped you, of all the times _**you've**_ nearly gotten me killed, of all the times _**you've**_ lied to me; have I ever once turned you away? I would have thought that garnered me a little understanding from you." Helen snarled. She would have thought better of Nikola, but then again, she never got what she expected from anyone.

"I'm not here to be understanding; I'm here to be a genius." Nikola shouted and he hadn't realized that he was even raising his voice until he heard a very deadly growl surrounding them. He looked up to see Druitt standing just behind Helen. Even with no memory Druitt was never far away from Helen.

Helen had felt John take up position behind her. That one act made her heart swell even though she didn't want it to. Some things no matter how small were still ingrained on John's actions; he had this instinctual drive to protect her. It made her angry sometimes, but today she welcomed it. "Keep it up and you might not be here for much longer." It was a threat she may or may not enforce.

Montague reached out and touched her shoulder, "Are you alright?" He had heard what she had said about the 'John' he was supposed to be. There was nothing but a strange connection he was feeling for her. All night his mind had tormented him with mages of them together. They felt more like memories from a life he never lived.

"Yes, I'm fine." Helen reigned in the need to smile at John. "Where have you been?" she changed the subject immediately.

"I barely sleep so I went for a run around your spacious grounds." Montague answered stretching his arms up, feeling his joints pop. Bringing his arms down Montague trained his gaze on the other man and fought the urge to curl his lip in a snarl.

"So that's why you're all sweaty then?" Helen asked. Her mind went back to all the times she had marveled at him while he had been working out. No one moved quite the same way John could move. He had captivated her from the first glance he had thrown her way.

"It was a good run." Montague leaned in close, "Perhaps next time you should go with me," He was teasing her and he knew it, but he couldn't help himself. There was this need to be close to her. Montague didn't understand that. She was a human and humans hunted his people. If he knew what was good for himself then he would leave and spare her the revulsion of finding out what he was.

"Then perhaps you should take a cold shower Johnny boy," Nikola curled his lip. Just the sight of John with his hair tied half back, wearing no shirt, and jogging pant made him want to vomit.

"And perhaps you could go and drink yourself into a catatonic stupor." Montague growled.

"How did you know he drank like a fish?" Helen asked quickly. That was only something John would know, would remember.

"I can smell it all over him. It's oozing out of his pores and it's making me nauseous really." Again he growled. It was all he was capable of doing when he was around Helen. There was this drive, this instinct that screamed at him to protect her and he was listening. He sensed that the other man was a threat to her.

"Hey I drink…. There's news!" Nikola replied sarcastically.

"That's obvious." Montague quipped removing his hand from Helen's shoulder. "Now, if you'll excuse me a shower is not a half bad idea." He inclined his head towards Helen.

"I'll make sure you have a change of clothes." Helen mumbled trying not to look into John's eyes. Having him with no memory was a temptation she was finding hard to fight against. There was desire to let herself fall for him again.

"Thank you." Montague moved around her and down the hall to where the showers were. If he spent one more second near her then he would be tempted to pull her into his arms and get as much of her scent on his skin as he could. It was the animal in him and he hated it sometimes. The desire he was feeling for her was irrational and foolish. He shouldn't want a woman like her, but he did. From the first glance he knew he wanted her.

"I saw that." Nikola remarked.

"Saw what? There was nothing to see." Helen responded watching John walk away from her. He was all fluid grace. No man should ever move with such poise.

"You're falling for him even harder this time." Nikola was the student of human nature even though he rarely understood it. "Maybe Johnny boy knew that to win you back he had to lose his memory or at least fake it."

"He's not faking it." Helen defended.

"How do you know?" Nikola inquired turning his gaze to look up the hall where Druitt no longer was.

"No ones that good of an actor, not even John." Helen sighed and looked at Nikola, "He flinched when I touched him last night after cleaning his wounds. John would never flinch at me touch." Only she flinched. Every time she hated herself for showing such fear of a man she loved so dearly.

"Really? He actually flinched?" This intrigued Nikola. Maybe Druitt wasn't faking after all. So, what could do so much damage to him to make him forget what he was? This would be well worth finding out. If it could happen to a powerful member of the Five, he and Helen weren't safe.

"In all the years you've known him have you ever seen John flinch?" Helen asked already knowing the answer.

"No, not ever," Nikola answered.

"He's not faking. Now the question remains; what happened to him?" Helen walked off down the hall to retrieve a set of clothes that she could give to John.

"This day just keeps getting better and better." Nikola muttered turning to walk back down to his lab where he could tinker with his many projects while waiting to see if Helen enforced her threat.

**THE SHOWERS:**

Montague stood beneath the hot spray of the shower where a sigh of pleasure escaped him. The hot water felt so good to his aching muscles and ravaged back. Where fresh claw marks had been last night were now pale pink healing scars. His run had helped free some of his pent up energy. It was enough to help the healing start.

Reaching out he grasped the white wash cloth from the rail. He put soap on the cloth and set about cleaning off the sweat and some of the left over dirt from his body. Montague closed his eyes at the feeling of the soap covered cloth running over his skin. His mind conjured another hand other than his own; it was hers. In that one instant he could feel her kin against him, her hands all over him, and her lips nibbling on the scars of his back. Montague opened his eyes and looked around. It was only his mind playing tricks on him, tormenting him with a vision of what he can't have. Montague rinsed off the soap feeling a deep sadness creep into his being. Why was one woman so important to him?

A gentle knocking brought his attention out of the day dream and to the door. Raising his voice slightly Montague called out, "Yes?" He turned off the water reaching for the black towel. Securing it around his waist Montague stepped out from behind the curtain just as the door opened to reveal Helen carrying a change of clothes for him. She visibly shivered and drew her gaze up and down him about three times. Montague smiled at that. At last he knew he was pleasing to her eyes.

"Uh… Here… a change of clothes like I promised." Helen held them out trying in vain not to look at John wearing only a black towel that brought out the alabaster of his skin. His hair was even blacker now that it was wet. The beads in his hair stood out more so now as well. They even reflected the light casting jeweled shadows on the tiles. Not looking at his body Helen focused on the beads only to realize that they weren't beads, but actual jewels woven into the hair of his braid. "Good lord."

"What?" Montague felt puzzled. One minute she was marveling at his body and then the next she had completely changed. He preferred her eyes raking over his body not focused on his hair.

"You have a veritable fortune woven into your braids." Helen reached out and was pleased when he didn't pull away this time. The nearest jewel to her fingers was a blood ruby. "Oh my, you have amethyst, amber, topaz, emeralds, and blood rubies in your hair." She pointed out.

"If you say so," Montague shrugged taking a step back from her causing her to let go of his hair. "I don't know how I got them. The first time I realized they were there was when you touched them last night." He reached for another towel to dry his wet mass of hair. The water in his hair getting cold as it dripped on to his skin. "I thought about taking them out a little while ago." Montague put the towel over his head and rubbed furiously at his head. The sensation felt so good.

"You shouldn't. They look good on you." It was the truth. John hadn't looked half as good to her as he did when his hair was spilling over his shoulder in wet ringlets. He was still very attractive to her, but the hair added an element to him that she had been hard pressed to define for well over a century and had yet had no luck with it. No word seemed good enough in describing her Montague. And he was still very much hers and hers alone.

He took the towel from over his head and looked at her. Her words had rang like thunder in his ears, but still he asked, "What did you say?" Montague added a playful smile. He felt that he could be playful with her and she wouldn't over react to it. How did he know that though? Why was he so certain?

Helen found herself smiling lightly and nearly chuckling. "You heard me." Gently she touched his arm offering her a smile. It was a while she had not given him in a while. How easy was it for her to forget everything he had done to them with him looking so innocent? But then again that was John wasn't it? He could look innocent even while he killed. Though, Montague, the man in front of her, had a hard edge about him. That was something John never had. He always appeared in a relaxed manner, lazy even. Montague was always on alert even while he teased her. These were two different men she was being around.

"You're right I did," Montague took the clothes from her daring her to leave. This was just another game he sensed that they had played many times. He set the shirt aside before he unfolded the loose cotton khaki pants. Keeping his eyes on her Montague watched her reaction to him sliding the fabric over his legs. She had admirable restraint as she kept her eyes locked with his while he tied the draw strong around his hips. Montague removed the towel slowly dropping it to the tiled floor.

Helen knew she should leave. She should have just left his clothes on the vanity sink and left him to shower in peace. Yet, here she stood watching him as he teased her with getting dressed. Helen much preferred when John was taking his clothes off rather than putting them on, but he made getting dressed seem so erotic. "You delight in teasing me don't you?" Her voice was calmer than she thought it would be.

"You make it terribly easy just by the way you watch me." Montague answered reaching for the white cotton button up shirt. He slipped the soft cloth over his skin and left it unbuttoned. But the shirt felt wrong being left open and his skin exposed. Some sense of vanity screamed at him to button the shirt and present himself as a gentleman. He only ignored it. From around his wrist Montague took the thin black hair tie to tie back his hair until it dried.

"When you had your memories, you always had a bit of an exhibitionist streak in you," Helen had treasured those rare times. John had let down his guard so completely to let her in, let he see the man he really way that it had touched her in ways his hands, his lips, never could.

"I can imagine, when I was John, you were worth a little exhibitionism." Montague slowly reached out and drew his index finger along the right side of her aw. Her skin was so silky smooth that he just wanted to caress her all over. "It is as if you are a memory from a dream I can not place." He cleared his throat and stepped back from. "I'm not safe to be around. You should never…"

"I can decide for myself." Helen stated forcefully. She was so drawn to him again even as much as she tried not to be. What right did he have to warn her away? John wanted her around and not it seemed that the man, Montague, standing before her wanted her with a passion but was trying not to want her. Why was he doing this?


	2. Chapter 2

Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

**DISTANT MEMORIES:**

Montague backed away from Helen; his instincts on overdrive to get away from her, to protect her. There was that slight twinge of knowledge that he would end up hurting her. "I don't want to hurt you." He confessed drawing in a ragged shaky breath to fill his lungs. The wolf inside of him howled in rage at moving away, but the human in him had to be cautious. With no memory of what he could do it was hard to tell how to proceed with a woman who was becoming so important to him. "But I want…"

"What?" Helen took a small step closer to him, "Tell me what you want." She knew this man before her; the face, the body, the tone of his voice. But the actions, the mannerisms were all wrong.

"I want to reach out to you, to touch you, to caress your cheek, and I want to kiss you; to just bury my nose in your hair. I don't know why and I fear that I will hurt you in some way if I do any of that." Montague turned from her and gripped the edge of the sink. The urges he had towards her were so strong that he was having a hard time fighting against them. "I don't know why I feel this way for you, I don't even know you."

Helen felt her heart clutch in her chest. The man standing before her was a man she had loved for well over a century and he didn't even know who she was. Yet he wanted to hold her, to kiss her. She held out her arms to him. Helen knew he could see her reflection in the mirror. "Montague, you can hold me if you want." It was what she wanted too. Helen wanted his arms around her.

Montague turned to her, looked at her open arms, and wanted to go to her. His human mistrust flared to life, "Why? I'm supposed to be a man who tormented you. Why would you grant me this?" Backing away his body started to shake; his skin cried out for hers and he didn't understand why. Montague sank down to his knees not looking at her. The wolf inside of him howled out in rage. The wolf wanted to go to the woman before him. The wolf wanted to have her against him. It was the human who was wary.

Helen sank to her knees moving slowly over to Montague, "Look at me," She reached out to him touching his shoulder. "I want you to hold me." That was the truth. Helen held out her arms to him again, her fingers lightly touching the strands of his hair. "Please…" John moved into her arms, his face burying in her hair. All at once her heart, her body, came alive with feeling. She tried to still his shaking body with running her hands up and down his back. 'Oh John…'Helen thought. This man was not the man of her nightmares, he was different. That much she could see. It made her heart break to see him so confused, so untrusting, so unsure of himself. How had this happened? Who did it? Helen would find that out and reverse it.

Montague felt all of the strength leave his body, his defenses crumble, as he fell into her arms. It was wrong and he knew it but he couldn't stop; didn't want to stop. All he wanted was the feel of her against him whatever the cost. His body stopped shaking. His mind settled. The mind numbing uncertainty faded away with just the scent of her. "I don't know who I am and that scares me. But more than that, wanting you is all I can think about, and that scares me more than not knowing who I am." Montague confessed breathing her in. He wanted to fill his lungs with that intoxicating subtle rose scent.

"I'm scared of wanting you too," Helen admitted. And she was. Deep down the want had lessened; the yearning for his touch had slowed to a simmer rather than a raging boil. Seeing him like this now made the old wants flare to life, the hunger stronger. John was a new man; he was Montague. He remembered nothing of his old life, of the crimes he committed. But she did. Was that enough, his memory loss, to let him back into her life and into her heart again? So far she had no answers. "I will help you."

"What if I don't want to be the man you remember?" Montague asked shifting a fraction of an inch closer to her warmth. Oh how he wanted her. He wanted to lie with her forever. Why? Over and over he asked that of himself and still he had yet to find an answer. Montague could never imagine tormenting a creature such as Helen. She was too kind to him, too willing to help him. She had fed him and given him a change of clothes. It would be the worst thing ever to turn on her, to betray her.

"Then who do you want to be?" Helen asked. John had stopped shaking, his voice had evened out, and his breathing returned to normal. If just touching her made him calmer, what else would she have to do to help him?

"I want to be me," Montague answered resting his temple on her shoulder. He watched the way her dark rich brown curls moved as she breathed in and out. It made him wonder what his hair would look like fanned out on a pillow next to hers. "I feel so stable being close to you." He muttered. "The wolf is calmer when you're around. He's never been like that before."

"You were always a touch junkie before, now I guess I know the reason behind it." Helen replied. She ran her hand down the back of his hands feel the damp strands of his hair. As much as she wanted to, Helen couldn't stay on the bathroom floor all evening. "Montague, we have to get up." He pulled back from her and the uncertainty returned to his eyes. "I have work to do and the floor is going to get cold soon. Not very comfortable," She smiled when he did. It was good to smile at him again

"It feels good to touch you," It was the truth. Montague didn't want to stop, but now that she mentioned the cold, he could feel it creeping in. He pulled back from her, stood, and offered her his hand to help her up. It actually surprised him when she took his hand.

Helen took John's offered hand and pulled herself up to stand. "Any time you feel nervous or uncertain I want you to tell me ok?" If there was anything that she could do for him then she would. As much as she had wanted John out of her life, Montague presented himself as a man in need of help, of protection, and she would give that to him.

"What difference would it make?" He asked with the growl creeping into his voice again. She was risking so much for him. Montague could tell that much. Helen was forcing herself to be near him, to hold him. He sensed it. That alone hurt him. Helen was making herself help him and he didn't know why.

"It makes all the difference to me when I can help." She added. Helen reached out and started to button the buttons of his shirt, but she only did the bottom three. "There, all better." She didn't want to cover up his beautiful expanse of skin, but she had to if she was going to have any luck at focusing at all. In the months that he had been gone John had gotten most defined; most of which she had noticed in his abs with the light splashing of a six pack that she could see.

"Covering me up is better?" Montague teased leaning over her to catch one more whiff of her scent. He could breathe her in for hours on end. Helen was a drug that he wanted to be addicted to for eternity. Already she was so ingrained in his body.

"For my staff," Helen answered. "But not for me. If I could have my way you would be wearing nothing but that towel." That garnered a deep rumbling growl from John and it made Helen laugh. Why was she acting like this? It was all new with John again. How could she not enjoy this for as long as it lasted?

"Be still your wicked tongue woman," Montague nipped her jaw line in a playful manner. He stepped back, "As you said you have work and I feel I can distract you." Motioning to the door he waited for her to leave so he could follow her. Montague wanted to watch her walk in that short skirt she was wearing. It was enticing to see the fabric working over her thighs. Evil, sensual, ideas were filling his head that had his hands slipping that skirt up revealing the milky cream flash of her legs. Those legs would torment him tonight in his dreams. That alone made him growl in delight.

**HELEN'S OFFICE:**

"I wonder what new perilous mission the doc will send us on?" Kate asked in general to her friends, and Tesla, gathered in the Doc's office. Last night she had heard that eerie howl. But when she had gone to investigate, she had found nothing and thought it might have been one of the residents.

"Might not even be a mission," Henry suggested as he sat on the couch. He had had a bad feeling since the eerie howl he had heard last night. It had set him on edge and made him wonder what it had been. No resident in house would have made such a noise other than himself.

"Henry's right, it could be Magnus sending us on a week long vacation to Fiji." Will joked. After the events of the last months a vacation was not out of the question. He was in desperate need of time alone with Abby. She, currently, was across the country at Quantico for joint training with the CIA.

"You'll be surprised when you find out." Nikola swirled the red wine in his glass before taking a sip. The alcohol washed away the worst of his hunger for blood and the medication Helen had devised for him took care of the rest. Still there were days when he had that craving for human blood and he couldn't quite shake.

Helen heard what her team had said and resisted the urge to chuckle. John was with her at her side looking at the door like it would attack him any moment. Being bold, putting aside her mistrust, Helen took John's hand in hers and said quietly, "Montague, you're safe here. No one will hurt you."

"It's not me I'm concerned about. I'm worried about them, what I could do to them and you." Montague squeezed her hand quickly and then let go so she could walk into the door. She moved past him slowly and close enough that he was able to smell her again. The wolf, the beast he carried, calmed even more. It knew her, remembered her, where as the man stayed clueless. The wolf was reluctant to share its memories.

Helen walked through the door knowing that John wasn't following her. Aware of those already in the room she turned, leaned on the door jamb, and poked her head out into the hall again, "Come on," She crooked her finger at him with a smile on her face. "Don't make me whistle at you."

Montague angled his head at her with a wolfish grin playing out on him face. He stalked closer to her, "If you do that then I will have no choice but to eat you up" His voice went low, a growl rumbling in his chest as he snapped at her playfully. Straightening, Montague took the black hair tie from his hair and let his wet mass of midnight black hair tumble free over his shoulders. "Do I look presentable?" He asked knowing he wasn't.

"You look like you just walked off of a romance novel cover." If she wanted she could stand and stare at him all day. 'More like he just walked right out of one of your wicked fantasies.' A little voice hissed in her mind. It was true and she admitted it.

"As long as you look at me I'm happy." Montague brushed his index finger over her bangs waiting for her to make the next move.

"We should…" Helen trailed off moving back from the doorway and into her office where her team, and Tesla, was assembled. John lingered by the doorway. She turned to him as the tension level rose to new heights.

"Why are they staring at me?" Montague looked over all of them in turn and resisted the urge to leave the room or go to Helen. He had promised he would tell her when he was comfortable but he couldn't, not with people watching. Inside of him he wanted to reach out and take Helen's hand, lace their fingers together, and feel stable. He couldn't.

"When did he get here?" Will took a step towards Magnus but kept his eyes on Druitt. Even with the new look he didn't trust the other member of the five. Druitt had always been rather unpredictable, even more so when it came to Magnus.

Montague watched the younger man as he stepped towards Helen. Instinct had him moving in front of her where he barely restrained a growl of warning. He moved without thinking. No one came close to Helen unless he was sure she was safe. It was instinct, pure and simple. Helen was his main concern more so than getting his memories back. He growled again.

"No! It's alright," Helen put her hands on John's back. "Will's no threat to me or you." John stepped aside bowing his head. She wanted to take his hand, to calm him. Helen would have had the eyes of her team not been so firmly locked on her and John. To her team she explained, "The man beside me you all know as John Druitt, but that man no longer exists. Standing before you is Montague, an abnormal in need of our help. He arrived here last night with no memory and he was injured. I've already given him the Sanctuaries protection."

"Are we sure this is a good idea," Kate stepped next to Will looking at Druitt. "I mean he is Jack the Ripper. How do we know he's not going to kill us?"

Montague looked at Helen then, "You never said I was this Jack the Ripper." He moved even closer to her, breathing the same air. "I was a murderer?" Again the tension went up another level. No one moved a muscle.

"Montague, you are not a killer." Helen reasoned, "John was the killer…" She almost reached out to him to cup his face and keep his eyes locked with hers, but stopped herself. "You are not. You're different." This time she reached out to him and placed her hands on his shoulder and urged him down to the couch. She could feel a slight tremor go through him.

"He's really not faking it." Tesla took a good hard look at the man on the couch. It wasn't a proud sight. He felt ashamed and a little bit of empathy for what John was going through. It could have happened to either himself or Helen. Though, Nikola was a little relieved that it happened to Druitt. There was no telling what would Tesla would be like if it had happened to him.

"Faking what?" Henry looked around feeling clueless. He looked at Druitt and felt a familiar tingle that he ha only gotten around Erica. What had happened to Druitt? As far as he knew Druitt was a wolf and that made Henry nervous.

"He's lost his memory, all of whom and what John Druitt was no longer exists." Helen answered keeping her eyes on the man on the couch. He looked defeated, "The man before you is no killer." She said the last part with pride. Helen knew this to be true just by looking in his eyes, feeling his arms around her, having him rest his head against her shoulder. All of that was of a man who knew nothing of cold blooded murder.

"Sure…" Kate dragged the word laced in sarcasm, "Until he tries to kill us again."

"Kate," Helen turned to her, "He never tried to kill you. Punch you yes, but he never tried to kill you." She was defending him. Helen would always defend John.

"No, he just tries to kill you on occasion." Nikola spoke up setting his wine glass aside. He glared at Druitt.

"Oh great, I've tried to kill you too," Montague leaned back on the couch covering his face in disgust.

"Nikola Tesla!" Helen scolded sitting down next to John. "Montague, that was all John's doing, not yours," This time she put her hand on his thigh. He was a touch junkie. He needed it.

Against what he knew the people in the room expected, Montague drew his knees up against his chest and leaned his forehead down. "The more I find out about myself, the more I hate myself or who ever I'm supposed to be." This time he issued a sign with a light growl mixed in.

"Oh, geez…" Kate ran her hand through her hair, "He really is different…"

Montague growled and bolted off the couch. He went to stand before the window trying to tune out all that was being said. She had faith in him. Helen was defending him and all he could think of was; why? There was no good reason for her to defend him. He tormented her, had tried to kill her. He deserved to die for that.

"I guess you can't take the truth Johnny boy." Tesla gloated past the shame he was feeling.

Montague turned, growling, and wrapped his hand around Tesla's throat. If they wanted him to be a killer then he would start with Tesla. It seemed only fitting. "Is this what you want? The killer you want?" Montague shouted slamming Tesla into the wood paneled wall next to the window. "Then I will oblige you."

"Helen…" Nikola choked out feeling his windpipe getting crushed.

"Montague let him go… please." Helen rushed around the couch and wrapped her hand and John's wrist gently. "Don't kill him, it won't do any good." At her words Montague let go of Nikola and the arrogant vampire fell to the floor coughing.

He leaned against the wall looking at what he had nearly done. What kind of monster was he? Montague banged the back of his head on the wall. "I can't believe I did that." He looked at Helen, she tried to reach out to him, but he wouldn't let her. "Don't!"

Helen held up her hands, "Alright, I won't touch you." She looked at Kate, Henry, and Will, "Could you leave us alone please." They all nodded and as quickly as they could, they left. Helen locked her eyes on John again, "It's not your fault."

"Not his fault?" Nikola coughed, "He nearly crushed my windpipe."

Helen rounded on Nikola, "You provoked him and that was what you get for that!" she shouted. "I warned you and you did not listen."

Montague turned towards the window, resting his head on the glass. A glinting caught his eyes making him focus on it. Someone was out there but they weren't focusing on him. Instincts going on alert, Montague looked at Helen. There was a red laser dot right on her chest. His body reacted, throwing himself in front of her as glass shattered and pain exploded in his right shoulder. All that mattered was keeping Helen safe.

Helen heard the glass shatter a second before she went crashing to the ground with John's weight on top of her. Reacting she wrapped her arms around him, her hands encountered blood. She stayed low angling her body over John looking for the wound. It was in the middle of his right shoulder; the skin around the wound having a spider web of grey lines working out from the wound. "No, Montague!" Helen screamed in her head; she wasn't sure if she screamed his name out loud. She held pressure to the wound. All that did was make him cry out in pain.

Nikola was still on the floor rubbing at his throat when the glass shattered and a gun shot rang out. John growled in pain and Nikola smelled blood. Moving away from Helen and John he moved to the window barely lifting his head to peak out. Nothing was there. He stood up and waited, again nothing happened. "It's all clear." Nikola announced turning back to Helen and John. The blood he had smelled was blossoming all over John's back, but there was also a different smell to it. Not human.

"Nikola, I need your help…. Please!" Helen pleaded holding her hands to the wound.

Montague couldn't breathe. His whole body was on fire. "Si…l….ver…" He managed to say. It was working to fast. It was in is blood.

Helen looked down at John, "What? Montague, stay with me." She never handled the sight of John's blood very well. Blood never made her queasy, John's blood made her worry.

"It's…. sil…ver" Montague choked out. "I… need…. Antigen…. AG…." His body would start convulsing soon. It was already starting to burn.

"Nikola, do you know…?" Helen shook her head. John wasn't going to die. She had to focus. "The wound wasn't a through and through, so that means the bullet is still in there. Nikola can you… ummm… dig it out?"

"Yeah," Nikola nodded lengthening his claws. "Hold him down." To John he spoke, "This is going to hurt." He dug his claws into the bullet wound and felt for the silver bullet that was in there. John barely screamed. A few minutes of feeling blood, muscle, skin, and tendons Nikola felt he metal of the bullet. It took him two tries to fish it out of his skin. Nikola grasped the bullet and brought his claws out of the wound. When he looked at the bullet, the blood coating it had smoke coming off of it.

The door burst with a blond woman coming through the door closely followed by Will. "You can't go in there!" Will shouted and the woman only growled at him. She moved away from Will and over to Helen and John.

Helen put her hands on John's wound to help stop the bleeding, "Who are you? How did you get into my house?" she growled out her words almost sounding like John.

"My name is Astrid and I can help him." she pulled out a small gold tube pulling it apart. "He's been poisoned with silver this will help him I promise." Without waiting she exposed Montague's neck sinking the barb home in the flesh releasing the antigen that would clean the silver out of his blood.

"What did you give him?" Helen demanded of the blond with the Romanian accent. She didn't trust this Astrid.

"I gave him antigen AG. It was developed so long ago for our people who encounter silver." Astrid handed over the case she had. "Here, if he is going to stay here then you will need this." Idly she fingered one of Montague's braids.

"Who are you?" Will demanded coming to stand behind his boss and closest friend.

"My name is Astrid and as you must know now I am Romanian, from Bucharest." She answered rising to her feet. "Montague will be fine now. His wound is already healing."

"Why help him?" Nikola asked going to stand next to the latest person to grace the Sanctuary.

Astrid looked at Montague as the grey spider webs began receding from his body, his breathing evened out, and the bleeding stopped. "You would not understand human." She turned her gaze on him and curled her lip in a snarl. "I am forbidden from discussing it with some like you."

"Astrid." Montague growled levering himself up putting his face very close to Helen. "Don't say anything else." He ordered getting to his feet. Montague swayed, dizziness setting in. Helen braced her hands on his chest.

Astrid went down on one knee and bared the right side of her neck brushing her hair aside. It was the wolf's sign of respect for an alpha and leader. Montague was such a leader, or at least she hoped he would be. "My lord, I am glad I found you in time."

"My lady, I told you not to follow me." Montague motioned for her to get up by offering her his hand, "But I thank you all the same." He smiled at Astrid. She alone he remembered and he wasn't sure why. Montague felt a familiar bond to her; she was family. "It is good to see you cousin."

Helen breathed a sigh of relief that she didn't know she was holding. John had spoken to Astrid so fondly that for a minute she thought the other woman might have been his lover. But then he had called her 'cousin' and Helen breathed easier. "You're really his cousin?" She asked. John looked at her with eyes pleading her not to continue.

"I am a descendant of his father's brother, so yes; I am his cousin by blood." Astrid answered. That was all she would feel comfortable answering with while Montague watched her so closely. She had no wish to break the laws of the pack.

"That was 160 years ago; certainly the blood tie has been diluted a little bit." Nikola interjected. In unison Astrid and John growled at Nikola. He was smart enough to know when to back up.

Montague swayed again, his body demanded that he sleep. Helen was there at his side, her arms going around his waist. "I think I need to sleep."

"I think you do too." Helen agreed and brought John's arm across her shoulders. His body slumped against hers. She knew he was fighting just to stay standing.

"Aren't we going to deal with this?' Nikola protested. He wanted to know what kind of trouble Druitt was in so he could get far enough away from it. Tesla was tempted to leave as it was.

"Later!" Helen snapped going with John to the door.

**JOHN'S BEDROOM:**

Montague, with Helen's aide, fell into his bed. The bleeding had stopped and his body started to heal. In sleep he would be whole again. But he couldn't seem to make his arms let go of Helen. She made him stable, allowed him to be calm and reply on the wolf inside of him. "Don't go please…" John pleaded in a ragged whisper nuzzling the side of her neck for more comfort. She called him a touch junkie and that was exactly what he was. He was addicted to her touch. Montague had only met her today, but to her John knew her for well over a century. Would he ever get his memories, his personality back? Did he really want them back?

Helen settled in with John tangling her legs with his. She had to hike up the edge of her skirt to allow for better movement. John draped his right arm over her waist and pillowed his head right above her heart. This left her hands free to tangling in his blood stained hair. Why was it whenever they were together one or both of them ended up with blood on them? It boggled her mind. But this time it was John's blood, not some enemy or innocent bystander. It was his and that had terrified her. Still she could lie tangled in his arms with blood on her hands, on her clothes, and she felt completely normal. What did that say about her? Was she damaged in some way? Was she more like John than she wanted to admit?

"I'm sorry I nearly got you shot." Montague mumbled trying to stay awake. He didn't want to give into sleep, didn't want to stop feeling her against him. When he was with her his memory loss didn't seem as bad as it was. Yes, he remembered his cousin and some elements of his wolf life, but it was all hazy. Montague just didn't want to remember when he could be with Helen as he was now. She was willingly comforting him even after he nearly got her shot.

"I've been shot at before. It's nothing new." Helen stoked John's hair, running the strands through her fingers. He would have to take another shower to get the blood out of his hair. It would start to clump together soon as it dried.

Montague would have sat up, only his body ached so much, "But I was the reason and I can't get past that." The guilt was setting in and that would eat him alive. Some how he knew he couldn't live if something happened to Helen. At least she was safe, he had acted and taken the silver bullet for her, and now she was here with him, holding him and stroking his hair. It all felt so good.

"Montague, you saved me and…" Helen leaned down and kissed the top of his head, "I'm not angry at you." She would have expected to be furious at him but she wasn't. Once again John had brought his problems to her door. Helen would have told John, if he had his memories, to solve the problem by himself. This John, Montague, was oddly vulnerable despite the strength he projected, and that got through all of her defenses she had built up against John in the last century.


	3. Chapter 3

Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

**DISTANT MEMORIES:**

Helen hadn't been asleep for long when she felt eyes on her. It was the middle of the morning; the sun hadn't even dawned in the heavens yet. Slowly she opened her eyes and saw the last thing she thought she would ever see. A wolf. A white wolf was sitting on the floor looking at them. She couldn't go for her gun, she didn't have it. Against her John stirred. Helen wished he would wake up. The wolf still sat on the floor just looking at them. It was unnerving and weird. If she wasn't still trapped under John's magnificent weight she would have shivered.

Montague stirred, he was feeling whole again, and the silver poisoning was gone. Only, he and Helen weren't alone. Opening his eyes he saw her staring at something. Montague levered himself up, rising above her, turning to he could see what had intruded on there solitude. There sitting on the floor was a white wolf. He knew that wolf. Montague rolled to the floor getting really close to the wolf; it didn't move. "Vivian?" He asked wondering how he knew her name. But he knew Astrid so he had to know her. A blinding light enveloped the wolf and young woman appeared.

"Hello cousin." Vivian replied staying crouched. "If it's not too much trouble…" She nodded towards his shirt. Without hesitation he took it off handing it to her. Vivian slipped on the noticeably bloody shirt and stood up buttoning it really quick. "Aunt Astrid wanted me to come and check on you. She went to search for the sniper."

"Do you know what she found?" Montague asked switching from wounded wolf to alpha. He needed to know which justice to impose on the human who dared harm one of them again. If it was the hunt then they would have to leave soon.

"It's the same scent that we found after you were taken. We think it's her." Vivian answered keenly aware of the human woman still lying in the bed her cousin had vacated.

"Her who?" Montague was confused now.

"Dana Whitcomb, the woman you warned us about." Vivian replied getting confused herself. "What happened to you? Gabriel is gone, Rafe is dead, and the pack is scattered waiting for a leader." She had been living in Paris with Aiden for a few months before Astrid cam to find them, came to tell them that Montague had returned and taken control of the pack. Bucharest was safe for her and Aiden again. Then Montague had been taken.

"You knew Whitcomb had returned and you never said a word." Helen accused coming off of the bed to face him.

"First off, I barely know who that is. Second, why do you care about some woman who is charged with crimes against my pack?" Montague looked to Vivian for that last part. His cousin nodded her head.

"That woman stole… our daughter." After a few years that wound was still so raw, so ravaged by unresolved anger.

Montague was stunned, "We had a child?" his voice little more than a whisper.

"Did I miss something?" Vivian asked looking between her cousin and the woman.

"Vivian, go and find Astrid." Montague ordered staring Helen down. Out of the corner of his eye he saw her leave and head the door close quietly. "We had a child and you didn't think to mention that?"

"John and I had a child." Helen motioned her hands up and down, "You keep insisting that you are not John, that you are Montague." She was close to shouting and it wasn't really his fault. Helen sighed running her hands through her hair. "It's just every time I look at you, I see the man who gave me a beautiful daughter, who risked his life to try and bring her home."

"I would have done the same thing." Montague said, "As for this Whitcomb person, she…" He trailed off. What could he tell her? What could he remember?

"What did she do?" Helen let the sore subject of their daughter drop off.

"She's harmed the pack in some way and her final act was taking me. All I can remember is pain and needles and…" Montague looked away. "It's as if there is this wall keeping from the rest of it." He sank to the floor leaning the side of his head against the edge of the bed.

Helen sat on the edge of the bed and watched as her proud warrior was defeated. Gently she rested her hand on the top of his head letting her fingers rub against the braids. Montague scooted closer, molded his bare chest to the front of her legs, and rested his head in her lap. His curtain of hair fell over his face. She couldn't tell if he was reliving some horror or if he was gaining comfort at her touch. The hair acted as a mask and shield.

Montague felt himself being plunged back into the deep well of uncertainty with the revelation that he had a daughter and that she was dead. Not only did he have to worry about enforcing an ancient law of his pack, but he had to operate carefully so he wouldn't risk upsetting Helen again. One smile from her had his heart beating as fast as a humming bird's wing. Having her angry at him had left his insides in tatters. Montague was already too emotionally dependant on her and he couldn't even get angry. There was love in his heart for her, in his soul. It scared him to know that he indeed ma have been the monster she feared. He never wanted to make her feel scared of him.

She ran her hand over his head in a stroking gesture over and over. Guilt was eating at her and quickly. It had been wrong of Helen to tell Montague of their daughter. He couldn't remember Ashley. He couldn't remember himself. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything." Helen had no right; that much she knew. Anger had gotten the better of her. It wasn't anger at Montague; it was anger at John for not killing Dana when he had tracked her down. John had been right; she only wanted him around when he could take care of her dirty work. Those words stung; his words of anger. Rarely had John ever gotten angry with her, but he had in Hollow Earth and she had to carry that with her.

Montague raised his head up and rested his chin on her right knee. He wasn't eager for her to stop stroking the tops of his head. It felt too good when she did it. "I should have said something." Though, in retrospect, what could he have said? How could he have known what to say to say?

"What could you have said? You didn't know." Helen knew that. She should have known better. "But, what are you going to do about Dana?"

Montague sighed and slid away from her. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs. "If her crimes as bad as I believe they are then she'll be dealt with. Hunt as a pack or not at all." Montague recited. It was something he had heard so often.

"Hunt her?" Helen asked.

"We're wolves." Montague unwrapped his arms and stood up. He leapt to balance himself on the end of the foot board. Helen moved back fast. "We are the best of man, the best of beast. Do you want to see what I am?"

She was intrigued, curious. "Yes," Helen waited for what would happen next. She was eager and it wasn't just the scientist in her.

Montague smiled. He stood on the footboard and made a leap across the large room willing his body to change. In a blinding white light his body faded away and melted into that of his other self; a pure black wolf. Shaking his body Montague turned to her looking at her with his wolf eyes.

It all happened so fast. In the blink of an eye John was there and then he was this pure black wolf. She crawled to the end of the bed resting her hands on the foot board. "Dear Lord." It was amazing and she could hardly believe what she had seen. John was a wolf the size of a Mastiff and pure black. "Dare to believe." Helen whispered slipping off the bed to crouch on the floor watching the wolf. It came closer to her, stalked her. She knew better than to run. Helen stayed very still and very alert. She wasn't afraid. Then the wolf was there, right in front of her, and the white light blazed over him, from inside him, again. There was Montague crouched before her. His hair was falling over his shoulders. He was completely naked. That had Helen's heart racing, thundering in her chest.

Montague stalked towards her. It felt so good to be in his wolf form that he wanted to go to her as a wolf. She stayed still as he came near. It was good that she remained frozen. He would have chased her the minute she ran. That was his nature, the wolf wanted to run. Montague could sense that she wasn't afraid of him, she was intrigued. What she was seeing defied the laws of her science. He wanted to talk to her. Stopping just in front of her Montague shifted back, let the wolf melt away and the human come foreword. There before he was a man again. Montague was crouched in a way that made him shorter than her. He rolled his gaze up to look at her through the curtain of his hair. "Did you like that?" It was a question that he couldn't resist.

Helen wanted to answer but her words would have come out in a gasp. Her answer would have to wait until her heart was calmed down and her breathing returned to normal. For now she just nodded. It also gave her time to note that the blood was gone from his skin but it still matted his hair. Helen felt calm enough to answer, "I did like what I saw, but it would appear you need another shower." She stood up and waited for him.

Montague rose to his full height casting his gaze down to meet hers. The fact that he had no clothes on didn't bother him, "Oh, yes. I forgot about the blood in my hair." He gathered up some of the strands of his hair on the right side and saw the dried blood. That made him sigh as he walked to the door. His intention had been to head to the showers.

Helen cleared her throat to get his attention, "Montague, you can't walk around my house stark naked." She couldn't stop staring at his marvelous back, all of it. Helen even licked her lips.

Montague looked back at her over his shoulder, "Huh? Oh…" Then he looked down at his body and saw nothing but porcelain white skin. Some shifters didn't mind the nudity; Montague was one of them. He didn't mind the brush of the air against his skin. "Is there something you want me to put on?" The clothes on the floor were bloody.

Helen tried to walk normally, but her hip bumped into the edge of the bed as she walked to the drawer. John's naked body still had an effect on her ability to walk. Inside she reached for the plain crimson sarong that she had found among John's things the last time he had been here. Unfolding it she went back to Montague and held it out to him. He only looked at it. Montague was playing another game with her. She accepted. Taking the light weight cloth she let most of it fall out of her hands as she slid the material around his hips making sure that the ties were tight. "All… better… maybe." She said letting her fingers dace lightly over his defined hip bones.

Montague leaned over her and whispered, "If you say so…" Helen looked up at him and he didn't waist time. He took her lips in a hungry kiss that was meant to leave them both gasping. There was a need, an urgency to have her lips against his, have her taste all over his tongue. Montague needed her like he needed his next breath of air. He pushed his tongue into her mouth, invaded her, as his hands grasped the back of her skirt clad thighs. Montague set her on the foot board as he devoured her.

Helen had been surprised when he kissed her; she didn't have time to gasp. Montague tasted wild and unbound. Everything a wolf should taste like. As he picked her up Helen threaded her fingers in his hair to hold on. John was always so strong, but Montague seemed stronger somehow. He set her on the edge of the bed. On instinct she brought her knees up against his hips. "We… should…" Montague cut off the rest of her words with a searing kiss. She wasn't so interested in stopping any more.

Montague wanted to go on kissing her. She tasted too good to let go. Only Helen was right, they had to stop. It was what she was going to say. He knew that, she should stop. But he couldn't. Montague wanted more of her, more of her taste, and more of her heat against her heat against him. Forcing himself, Montague stepped carefully back from her gasping for breath. "I'm sorry…"

Helen came to him and covered his mouth with her hands, "Don't say another word." She ordered. That kiss had been more powerful than the kisses John had ever given her. His kisses had always seemed strained. Montague was unleashed. He would devour her if she let him. If he continued to seduce her, toy with her, she might just let him. Dropping her hands she angled her head and took his lips this time. This kiss was sweeter and not as demanding. She pulled him back to the end of the bed.

Montague was being devoured as the sun came up to bathe his room in red pre-dawn light. They were still at the end of his bed, sharing a sweet kiss that was breaking his heart if he ever hurt her. He ran his hands up and down her sides letting her take control of the kiss. She was teasing him, licking and nipping his lips. It was enough to make him growl. The growl made her continue. Helen brought her knees up, resting them at his waist.

A knocking came breaking up the momentum. Helen stopped kissing him resting her head against his thundering chest. "Who is it?" Her voice was steadier than she thought it would be. "It's Will." Helen sighed shaking her head back and forth. John kissed the top of her head stepping back. Her bare feet fell to the floor and she had only seconds to stand up, straighten her skirt and shirt.

Montague would have snarled at the intrusion but it was dawn and there were things he had to attend to after his shower. Helen had work to attend to and he knew that. Unashamed for the state he was in Montague opened the door seeing Will on the other side. The younger man looked him up and down while he stared on with one eyebrow raised. "I'll leave you two alone." Montague turned to Helen and smiled. "I'll see you later." He set off out of the room to head to the showers.

**LATER THAT AFTERNOON:**

Helen sat behind her desk trying to concentrate. The only thought she had was Montague and the feel of his lips on her. Try as she might Helen couldn't focus. It was the feel of his tongue, the hard press of his chest against her. Even the way his hands gripped her thighs still burned along her skin. Montague was very different from John; that much Helen could see. It made her feel differently for Montague.

When she had first been with John, he had never been on her mind as much as Montague was now. His innocence touched her. His hunger for her called to the hunger she had for him. Helen never thought that Montague could be a separate personality from John, but now she knew differently. Montague was the wolf that John had tried to deny. Now there was no chance of that. The wolf had won, but how.

Movement in her doorway caught her attention. Helen looked up to see Astrid, Montague's cousin watching her. It was an odd feeling to be watched by a wolf and it unnerved her. "Astrid, can I help you?" Helen asked trying to dispel her nervousness. It was creeping in on her.

"You're thinking about him aren't you?" It was written all over the brunettes face. Astrid could see it. She knew. She still thought about Gabriel even though he was dead. Her son was dead. The only family she had was Vivian and Montague.

Helen nodded, "I am. I worry about him and I wonder what happened to him." She motioned to one of the chairs in front of her desk for the wolf to sit in. Something about Astrid had Helen on edge. She could feel that the other woman had another agenda and until Helen found it out, she would keep Astrid at arms length.

"He's a good man, a good wolf. We've tried for months to find the human responsible for taking our wolves and now we have her." Astrid spoke sitting down in the chair gracefully. "Vivian tells me you have a history with this Dana Whitcomb."

"She stole my daughter from me." Even now those words made her throat burn, her eyes wanted to fill with tears. Ashley, her poor lost child.

"I too know the pain of a child's loss." Astrid saw Rafe's face every night when she slept. The pain, for her, would not lessen in time.

"Why is her death important to you?" Helen fought past the urge to ask Astrid about the death of her child. What could Whitcomb have done to the wolves, to Montague, to make them hate her so much?

"She has been experimenting on our wolves for two years now. On the night Montague was to assume control of the pack he disappeared, returning the next day with no memory. And then the next night he vanished into thin air." Astrid hadn't figured out how her cousin had left no trace.

"Did he say it was Whitcomb?" Helen inquired.

"He called the woman Dana. It was one of the few words we were able to make out."

"Hmm…" Helen muttered getting up from her desk chair so she could pace. Like John, Helen thought better when she was pacing. Astrid just sat in the chair and watched her.

**KITCHEN:**

After his short shower Montague had found a discarded black ribbed tank top hiding in one of the small culverts along the wall of the bathroom. He had toweled off as dry as he could before tying the light weight crimson material around his hips and pulled on the tank top. The shirt clung to him but wasn't as tight as he thought it would have been. Montague should have felt ridiculous for being dressed the way he was, but he didn't. It felt normal for him, as if he had donned these clothes before, only in another life. More than anything he thought about being on beach somewhere just lying in the sun while the water crashed along the shore. The beach could wait. Right now he was hungry and in need of food.

Before his eyes in the fridge were dozens of different kinds of food ranging from pasta to salad to meat. The wolf in him nearly drooled at the sight of a hunk of rare roast beef wrapped in saran wrap. It made the hunger worse and Helen had forgotten to feed him last night. Plus taking into account that he had healed a bullet wound, Montague needed food.

Taking the tray out of the fridge he moved to the center island of the kitchen and set to work getting a plate, a knife, and looking for bread. Montague was going to make a sandwhich. He was so absorbed in what he was doing that he completely missed the pair of eyes that watched him until he was just ready to take a bite of his food. There standing before him was Henry Foss, the werewolf. His senses peeked. Another wolf was welcome and also made him wary at the same time.

Henry stood in the doorway to the kitchen watching Druitt methodically sliced the roast beef and set it on the bread. The man was nothing if not skilled with a blade even with no memory of ever having used one before. Suddenly, as he was about to take the first bite, Druitt stopped and looked at him. For one second Henry thought about running for it and leaving the Victorian Ripper alone. Then a strange look passed over the man's face. It was surprise. That made Henry stop and reassess who was standing before him.

"Is this yours?" Montague asked pointing to the roast beef. If the cooked meat belonged to the wolf then he would put it back and find something else to eat.

"No, please…" Henry motioned to the food. He had actually come here to get food. His energy stores were low and he needed energy. Druitt took a bite with the smallest drop of bloody juice dripping down the corner of his mouth. The blood was enticing to his other side and it made the hunger that much worse. Coming foreword Henry snagged a sliced piece of the meat. He put it in is mouth savoring the taste.

Montague swallowed and then asked, "If I may ask, what do you look like when you change?" he had never met a werewolf before and he was curious as to what one looked like.

"Uhh… well… not…" Henry tried to find a way to explain but he couldn't. Instead he asked, "What do you look like?"

"I am a giant black wolf the size of a mastiff." Montague answered freely. "I am an oddity within my pack for being so large. The last giant wolf was nearly three centuries ago during the age of secrecy. Now we are in the new age of hope without much success." It was his duty to take over the pack and bring Vivian and her human, Aiden, home to Bucharest. Vivian was the sign that the Age of Hope was upon them, but he was the one to make it work. His wolves were to come out into the light, meld with humans and expand the pack. Most were resistant; he was as well. Humans were not to be trusted, except for Helen. Montague could trust her. He knew that in his bones, in his soul, and his wolf trusted her.

"What are you hoping for with this new age?" Henry was intrigued. The pack he knew lived together under the guise of a mental institution.

"We hope the end the fear of humans, to stop living in the shadows, but," Montague sighed, "From what I have seen, that is not likely. I merely hope to take control of my pack and keep them from harm."

"Is that it?" Henry rested his hands on the edge of the counter. "I mean you have to have some other dreams."

"I do dream of something, someone else." He smiled. "The woman I dream of is as pale as the moon with hair so golden it shames the sun. Her eyes are so blue that they trick into thinking you are looking at a summer sky. And her voice is so sweet that nature can not fathom how such a creature could exist with humans." Montague closed his eyes bringing the image into him mind as he continued to speak, "I have long since desired to find a woman who s as strong and as brave as a wolf, but I have yet to find her."

"Wow, that is…. Wow…" Henry couldn't think of anything else to say to that.

Helen was standing at the door and she heard all that John had said about he woman of his dreams. It made her want to cry. John was describing her as she had once been long ago. The words he had used were the ones she had heard one the first night they had made love. Helen had asked him what he saw when he looked at her. John had answered with just that. Even now those words tore her heart to shreds with love. She cleared her throat choosing then to walk in. Helen made sure she conformed her features into an unreadable mask with a dazzling smile. It wouldn't do for her to let Montague see how much she wanted to cry. Looking to him Helen said, "It appears you and I are going to Bucharest."


	4. Chapter 4

Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

Note: was so UBER excited for D*C that I put stories on hold so this one is extra-special-long! ENJOY! Leave reviews!

**DISTANT MEMORIES:**

"You're not going with me." Montague stated coming around the center island in the kitchen. He couldn't keep her safe and take over his pack at the same time. His people hated humans and Helen was human.

"I'm sorry; you've mistaken me for someone who was asking permission. I'm going with you." Helen stated. She was not going to let John out of her sight. There were more of his kind; she wanted to see them. Helen would do what anything it took to see the wolves that John was apart of.

"No, you're not." Montague argued back. "I can't protect you if you go with me." He moved to her, stepped so close he was breathing the same air as she was. "Your safety matters more than anything to me." Montague forgot about everything. No one else was in the room with him except Helen. "The wolves…"

Helen put her finger over his lips to stop him from talking. "I will not let you go alone." Dropping her hand she started to head to the door, but then stopped. "If we are going to leave, might I suggest a pair of pants?" She then headed out laughing to herself but not before she heard John's reply.

"If I wear pants will you wear that amazing short skirt that shows off your legs?" Montague chuckled at her as she left. Helen was so much fun to tease. Suddenly a flash of him standing close to her, her backed against a wall, his lips dangerously close to hers had his mind reeling. They were dressed in Victorian style clothing and Helen had been blonde. She was the woman he had been dreaming about. '_Helen…_' Was it really her? Montague abandoned his food to head to his temporary room to change.

**HELEN'S OFFICE:**

Helen couldn't believe the way she was acting around John. He was still the fierce killer, a man that could intimidate someone with a look, but he was also tempered by kindness, uncertainty. He didn't know who he was. That suited her just fine for the time being. If she could, Helen would find a way to restore the man she had known for so long. It wasn't about needing the familiar, it was about needing John. Helen needed him whole if she was ever to love him again. Though, she was falling pretty hard for him as he was now.

Now she was waiting for him in her office with his two cousins feeling very unsettled. What could be taking John so long? Honestly, sometimes the man took longer to dress than she did or used to. And that was saying something. Then she felt him coming down the hall towards them. Helen wasn't sure how she knew, she just did. Turning in time Helen greeted him with a smile as he came through the door. John, Montague, was clothed in the worn cowhide pants and boots he had shown up in, a black linen shirt that hung on his body while showing off his lean form, the habitual black duster graced his shoulders, and his hair was pulled back in a low pony tail with his bangs framing his face. This was her Druitt, at least part of him. "It took you long enough." Helen joked.

"I couldn't find the right thing to wear," Montague replied giving Helen a wolfish grin. "I hope you don't mind but I borrowed the leather jacket." It felt so right on him, the fit, and the feel.

"Then by all means, keep it." Helen came to him. Put her hands on his shoulder and smoothed the well worn leather down his arms, all the way down until she touched his hands. "It suits you."

"So, how are we to get to Bucharest?" Montague asked. He had a feeling he knew the answer, but he wanted Helen to say it.

"We teleport or… you teleport us," Helen said. She took his hand for reassurance. "You can do this."

"How?" Montague asked.

"With this," Vivian spoke pulling out a photo. "This is the balcony of your loft back home." The picture was from when Vivian and Aiden had "trespassed". What she had neglected to mention to her lover was that she knew the owner and that he was her cousin. "This is where you live looking over the whole city."

Montague looked to Helen for his cue, "So what do I do?" He laced his fingers with hers.

"Have this image in your mind and imagine us there, your body will do the rest." Helen answered keeping her hand in his. To Montague's left Astrid came to him and took his other arm.

"I should go as well." She stated. Her tone denoted no room for arguing.

"Astrid… no. You need to stay here. You're safe here." Montague took his arm out of his cousin's grasp. "Stay here with Vivian and Aiden. We'll be fine." He assured her and leaned into his cousin to kiss her forehead.

"Fine." Astrid moved away. "Just be careful."

"I will." With his other arm free Montague did as Helen had told him. He pictured the balcony imaging himself and Helen there. A few seconds later an odd tingling sensation broke out along his skin. He felt as if he had broken apart with a whoosh and then solid ground was under his feet again. Opening his eyes he was on the balcony flanked by two stone wolves. Montague did it. He actually did it. "Wow!"

"You did it. I told you, your body would remember." Helen sounded smug and she had a right to. John had come to her with no knowledge of what he was and she had helped him.

Before she could make her escape from his arms Montague brought her hard against him. He wanted to kiss her, here, now. He needed the taste of her on his tongue before he had to do what was required of him. Montague swept his tongue past her lips and into her mouth to trace the edge of her teeth. A deep growl rumbled in his chest forcing him to back away. Wolves mated for life and he wanted to spend the rest of his with her. But Montague had to be sure she wanted the same. "I'm sorry." He apologized bowing his head and backing away.

"I didn't say stop." Helen whispered. She ran her tongue over her lips still tasting him.

"But I did." His body started to shake with need for her. "I don't want to force you into something with me that you aren't ready for." Montague could feel the first stirrings of the need to mate with her, to make her his and his alone.

"Montague, I wouldn't be here with you if I didn't think I wasn't ready for more." She had no idea how true those words were until she spoke them. Montague was drastically different from John. So much so that she found herself falling love with Montague more completely than she had when John had been sane. It seemed odd to her, Montague and John were the same person, but Montague opened up to her more. John always had the need to protect her. He had feared that she was too fragile. Montague voiced his concerns, yet, he abided her wishes.

"How can you know you're ready to love a wolf when you've only known me a few days?" Montague wanted to believe what she was saying. He didn't trust her words, tried not to. They sounded too sweet to him. If he could he would love her for eternity and never let hr go, never let her hurt again.

"I've known you most of my life and I've loved you for well over 135 years. I know what I want now." Before she could say more flashlight beams cut across the stone floor with two men coming out, guns drawn. Instinct had her reaching for her own gun that she never traveled without.

"Identify yourselves." The man on the left growled.

"Put your guns away, that's an order." Montague stepped in front of Helen to shield her. He could feel her starting to protest. "You would dare raise a gun against your new queen, my wife. I am pack leader and you will obey." Montague put force behind his command. Both men dropped to their knee baring the right side of their necks to him.

"We meant no offense My Lord. We saw a strange light and were concerned." The wolf on the right explained.

"Stand up Radu and Dragga. You were only doing what I pay you to do." Montague excused their actions. "This is Helen, the newest wolf to our pack and your queen."

'Queen?' The question lit her eyes. Montague shrugged. It told her that he was thinking on his feet. The damage was done and she had to go with it. Lucky for her she could improvise. Thinking on her feet was what she did best. Playing with limited information on how the pack worked she stepped up to Montague's side. She did something with him that she hadn't done in years. Helen hooked her pinkie with his. It was something they had done at Oxford when they had been close enough to touch and yet under the prying eyes of their friends. Montague squeezed back, a silent thank you.

"Now I want you to leave. Go down stairs and guard the entrance." Montague commanded. For what he was about to tell Helen he did not need any witnesses. A few seconds later a door closed. He turned to Helen and smiled shyly, "I was thinking on my feet about…."

"Being your queen?" Helen finished. The last time she had joked about being a queen was when Nikola had called for help on the auto-type. Then she had only been joking. Now the idea intrigued her now.

"I'm sorry…"

"Don't be." Helen went to Montague, "It was just a shock to hear you call me your wife in front of two strangers." She wasn't as shocked as she was happy to finally be called his wife. Idly she reached up and clutched a chain that was no longer around her neck. On the chain was a ring, an engagement ring that John had given her. Three years ago she had finally taken it off, put it in a safe place. Now she wished she was still wearing it.

"A bad shock?" Montague took a step back from her to give her space and to give him some room to breathe.

"No," Helen shook her head placing her hands on his chest. "Your wife is what I want to be, even if it's in the eyes of your pack." That knowledge hurt her deep down.

"Then follow me," Montague took her hand leading he through the balcony doors into his home. The curtains parted and there was his well furnished home. Paintings of wolves lined the walls, various photos of full moons, as well as various forests. The furniture was all carved mahogany, all decorated with designs of wolves.

Montague left Helen to look around his spacious home while he walked back to the bedroom. There was something in the wall safe that he knew he needed. Pulling a picture off the wall Montague revealed the safe and an electronic key pad. He had no memory of his previous life, of what was in the safe, but he knew the password. 1888. For some reason it stuck out in his mind. The door opened and there in the center around a few stacks of cash and bonds were two velvet boxes. He pulled them out and opened one of them. Inside among the black velvet was a dainty platinum band with small diamonds set into the band in the design of the infinity symbol. Something told him that he had been holding on to these rings for a long time.

Helen walked through the carved furniture and ran finger tips over the fur blankets that were spread out along the back of the couch. John/Montague certainly knew how to live. The fluttering curtains drew her back out to the balcony where the carved ornate wolves stood guard against the night. The statues were old and she would have guessed tenth century. Being called to, Helen reached her hand out and touched the cold stone. Instantly it warmed to her touch, nearly coming alive at her touch.

"Those are all that is left of Bucharest Castle." Montague stood watching her as she petted the stone wolf that graced his balcony looking out over his city.

Helen looked at him over her shoulder, "Bucharest Castle?" She hadn't heard of it, at least not in great detail. Her father may have mentioned it a time or two.

Montague nodded coming to her, "It was the seat of power for the Magyar Princes who ruled this land. During that time the wolves flourished and ruled by the light of the moon. But," Montague cleared his throat and slipped his arms around her waist, "When the Magyars lost the throne, that's was when the wolves lost everything as well." A note of sadness crept into his voice. He mourned the loss of people who died long before he was born. "After that," he rested his cheek against Helen's temple, "The wolves took matters into their own hands. For any human who harms us we hunt them. But I hope to change that with your help." Montague backed away leaving her with the velvet box in her hands.

Helen's heart leapt into her throat at the feeling of the velvet box in her hand. She could hear John call her his wife, but having that box in her hand made it more real to her. She was almost afraid to open it. Taking a deep breath to brace herself Helen opened the box and gazed upon the most beautiful ring she had ever seen, at least to her. It may have been a simple silver band, but the diamond infinity symbol stole away the deep breath she had taken. '_I love you, for all eternity.'_ John's vow came to her and she wanted so much to hear him say it. Helen spied a date on the inside lid of the box; 1886. Her heart thundered in her chest. He had had the rings for so long. "Oh, Montague… this is…" Helen took the band out, slipping it on to her left ring finger.

" 'To see a world in a grain of sand, a heaven in a wild flower, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and eternity in an hour.'" Montague spoke taking the ring from the box he held and slipped it on his finger. William Blake new how to write a poem. "I always knew the woman of my dreams would be my wife, and you're that woman."

"You're always the man I dream of." It was true. The man before her, Montague, was what she had wanted. He was what John should have been without the creature. The creature? What had happened to it? Montague wouldn't know. She wasn't going to ask. Maybe Dana would know. But those questions would have to come later. Right now it was about her and Montague. "What do we do now?"

Montague leaned in and kissed her gently. For right now they were married. For right now she was his wife. He just hoped that it lasted long enough for her to enjoy being married to him. "Would you consider going to a wolf club tonight?" Montague asked playfully. At the absinthe factory there was an attached club where the wolves gathered and it would be the perfect place for him to assert his dominance and make the others aware of his wife.

"Dancing, drinking, and wolves?" Helen asked arching her brow. "I think I can stand that." A night of drinking and dancing and just being herself as well as Montague's wife was exactly what she needed. Her lift had been just a little too chaotic lately. This was what she wanted to do right now.

**CLUB RUNNINGWOLF:**

Helen had had so many ideas on what an all wolf club would look like, but they had never come close to what it actually was. It was an open air club attached to the back of an Absinthe factory. The bar was packed with wolves ranging in ages from 18 to 35 years old. What had she gotten herself into? She reminded herself that it was for Montague. He needed her. Helen was going to help him. Idly her hand flew to the platinum wolf charm that now graced her neck. It was another gift from John.

"Don't worry, they'll love you." Montague assured Helen. She was fidgeting with the charm he had given her. He could understand why she was nervous. There were so many wolves gathered. Taking her hand, Montague let his thumb run over the platinum band on her left finger as he led her to the bar.

"I hope you're right." Helen muttered stepping up to the bar where a space had opened up. John was right there behind her, his body so close, his heart sinking into her clothes. Behind the bar she saw Dragga; one of the men who had drawn a gun on her.

"My lady," Dragga bowed his head. "What's your pleasure?"

Helen turned her head to John, "What is my pleasure?" She wasn't sure what to order. Normally she would have had a glass of red or white wine settling herself at a table to watch all the people. Somehow she sensed that a choice like wouldn't go over well. It's why she now looked to Montague for the answer.

"We'll have the house special." Montague ordered calmly wrapping his arm around Helen's waist, flattening his palm right over her abdomen. It was possessive, he knew it, but other wolves were eyeing her. Helen didn't react; she just sank back into his hold. The other two male wolves turned away to look at the dance floor where they could find more available woman. No other man was to look at what was his. Helen was his woman, his wife within the confines of the pack, and he wanted to keep her that way.

In front of them Helen watched with rapt attention as Dragga placed two whiskey glasses on the counter, filled the contents with the eerie green liquid that was the absinthe, placed a spoon on top with a sugar cube, and then lit it on fire. Helen had to take her cue from John this time. She wasn't sure if she wanted to drink the drink or use it as illumination should the power fail at the club.

Montague used his free hand to tip the spoon into the Absinthe, dissolving the sugar cube and setting the alcohol on fire. Helen followed suit and as if they were in sync they knocked back the liquid in a single shot. The Absinthe burned his throat and set fire to his belly. It was a better welcome home than anything. Beside him Helen blew out a slow steady breath. "Is your mouth on fire darling?" His tone was teasing.

"That was the 'House Special'?" Helen ran her tongue over her teeth. They were just as hot as her tongue was.

"Oh yes, another?" Dragga asked holding up the bottle of absinthe.

"No, one is enough." Montague answered before he led Helen away from the bar. Absinthe could be lethal if one drank too much of it. The distillation from worm wood tended to rot the brain from over imbibing.

"That was different," Helen nearly shouted over the loud music the further they moved away from the bar and into the crowd of people. She wasn't as worried as she had been upon walking into this bar. Montague was guiding her with subtle cues and small glances. Those had been helpful as she knew nothing about this hidden culture. Ask her anything about abnormals and she would be able to tell you right off. But the wolves, the ancient culture of Bucharest; she was clueless.

"It's just a popular drink." Montague leaned against a section of wall. Holding out his left hand he beckoned Helen to come in against his body. He grinned as she fit her left hand to his and laced their fingers together. Montague drew her in close resting his chin on top of her head. It reminded him of something; he just couldn't place it.

Helen rested against Montague listening to the song change from a gently rhythmic wave to a more recognizable rock song. The words were in Romanian and that was one language she hadn't gotten around to learning. "What's this song they're playing?" She asked close to his ear.

"You don't speak Romanian? My dear doctor I'm shocked." Montague teased kissing the top of her head. He moved her then, had her back pressed to his chest and his lips close to her ear. Gently he began to sing, "_I'm here without you baby, but you're still on my lonely mind. I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time. I'm here without you baby, but you're still with me in my dreams. And tonight, it's only you and me."_

Helen listened to the way John sang the words to her. There was a deeper meaning to them for her. If she and John would have ever had a song to describe them, this would be it. The tempo changed with John stating to rock back and forth with her. His words dropped off and now he was just humming to her. It was almost perfect, except for all the eyes that were on them now. Behind her his body stilled, went on alert. As if one the wolves assembled went to their knee's and bared the right side of their necks. Montague stepped away from her, but kept their fingers intertwined.

"My lords and ladies, it is an honor to once again be among my own kind." Montague took on step closer to his pack. He released Helen's hand and went to his knee in front of them all acknowledging them. Rising to his full height Montague took Helen's hand again so he could pull her up to his side, showing her off. "I have come home to take my place as leader, as alpha, with my queen by my side." Montague raised his hand that held Helen's showing them as a united front.

Helen looked out at all the people assembled feeling the odd man out. These people were wolves and she was human, almost human. Yet, here she was with him, with Montague, hoping to finally put the nightmare of Dana Whitcomb out of her mind once and for all; later she would feel guilty about being relieved. It made her wonder what had called John off the hunt. He had a habit of drawing things out when he wanted to play, to torture his victims. Maybe it had been her call for aide during the time her sanctuary had been taken over by the energy elemental inside of him. John always seemed to stop what he was doing to come and help her when she needed him the most. Right now, Montague commanded respect, held the attention of everyone in the room. He held her complete attention; just as he had when they were at oxford.

"This woman by my side is my queen, my wife, and she will be so for all eternity. We are wolves, we mate for life. This is who and what we are. Tomorrow night I enforce the ancient laws of the pack and carry out a swift justice to our enemy. Tomorrow night by the light of the full moon we hunt the woman who has harmed our pack." Montague vowed. He would see this woman suffer the pack justice for what she had taken from him; his memories. Though, if Dana had left him alone, then he never would have been able to be with Helen like he was now.

**THE LOFT:**

It was near dawn, the sky was being tinged red. Helen and Montague were just coming home from the celebration at the wolf club. The pack had celebrated her being Montague's wife. It almost felt like the engagement party that James and Nigel had given in honor of her and John. But this party had been a hundred times better. The energy of the pack, family and happiness, infused her being making her feel like she was home. Now, she was so exhausted. Tonight she had actually had so much fun.

Montague kept his arm around Helen's waist; kept her so close to his side. He didn't want to let her go. It had been a wonder to see her interact with all of the others. They had accepted her despite the scent of her being human. Her name carried a lot of weight with them. He knew that anyone willing to go to the matt to protect the abnormals was worthy of respect. Helen was such a woman and he loved that about her. "It was a joy to watch you immerse yourself in the party, impromptu as it was." Montague lifted her hand to his lips and kissed the back of her hand.

"I had fun, more fun than I thought I would." Helen smiled gently taking her hand from his so she could remove her coat. Idly she tossed it over the back of the chair and wondered what else was to come. What she really wanted to do was sleep. In the last few weeks she hadn't been doing much of it. It would be heaven to be wrapped up in Montague's arms, surrounded by his warmth.

"I don't know about you, but I am exhausted." Montague stretched long and languid. "If you're ready to sleep, you can take the bed and I'll sleep on the couch." He didn't want to push her too far so fast. Montague had the need to ease her into his way of life. They had only shared the bed the last time because he was injured. If he could allow her to make the choice, Montague wanted her to come to him. He wanted it to be all her.

Helen's heart dropped just a little. She had been hoping John would come with her. But he was giving her the choice and she appreciated that. Looking in the next room where the bed was it was way too big for her alone. It was a king sized four poster bed with curtains around it. '_Just like the bed we used to share._' Helen thought staring at it. "I don't want to sleep alone." She looked back to John. His body had straightened, his eyes intent on her. In three quick strides he was to her, gathering her close, putting his lips to her pulse point.

"Be sure of what you say… please." Montague needed her certainty. He was already so close to losing his mind, being consumed with desire for her. His love for her deepened as he watched her with his wolf pack tonight. She melded in with them like she was one of them.

"I am sure…" Helen fisted her hands in the front of his shirt hauling him against her. His lips found hers as his arms wrapped around her waist. The way he was made her remember just what it was about John so loved the most. She loved the way he brought her to life. John was her one and only no matter what state of mind he was in. Still, she was determined to restore his memories, restore what made her John look at her like she was the last thing in this world that made him who he was. It was a look that she had missed.

Montague felt alive, felt as if a live wire had touched him. Helen's lips tasted divine, no man new paradise until he kissed her. She was the heaven every man sought. Montague sought to be taken over by her. He wanted to be everything to her. "Take me to bed…" He pleaded; his voice a breathy gasp. Her hands fisted in his shirt tighter. They started to walk back towards the large bed.

Helen felt fire, sparks, break out in her body, through her blood, along her nerves. This was how it was supposed to be. She was only supposed to feel the good things in life with Montague. The bad was never meant to touch them. She now had a chance to make things right between them; to set back the hands of time in their hearts. And she was going to. Helen put all of her pent up passion for him into her kiss. She wanted Montague to feel what she was feeling too.

Montague leaned over her, had her bending backwards slightly, with his hands running down to grasp the back of her thighs. With ease he picked her up, brought her lower body against his waist. Helen took her hands from his shirt and draped them over his shoulders, threading her fingers in his hair. Montague let a growl rumble in his chest. She gasped into his mouth.

She could feel them moving. He was taking them back to the bed. Helen was then lowered slowly to the mattress. Montague was staring at her with ravenous hunger. It was a hunger that she yearned to sate. Reaching out to him, her fingers fumbled with the buttons. She wanted his chest bared to her roving gaze and her hungry mouth. Every inch of his luscious skin was exposed with each button she managed to open. Helen couldn't resist; she had to taste his pale, perfect alabaster skin. Her tongue darted out, licked a small line up his skin.

Montague shivered. Her tongue was hot on his flesh. How would he survive this? Helen would take him to new heights. Her hands finished with the buttons and Montague let the linen shirt cascade down his arms to pool on the floor. His heart was beating so fast, so hard. Any minute he was sure it was going to beat out of his chest. Helen made him that way. Now it was his turn. Montague kissed her hard and fast, passion burning brighter. Each button that he released his lips would descend on her skin, nipping and kissing her, making her desire flare.

Helen's spine bowed, her heart pounding in her chest. She was on fire. Montague moved aside her shirt exposing her black bra. It was simple, nothing too sexy. He used his teeth to pull the front closure apart. Rather than move the fabric off to the side Montague licked up from the bottom of her sternum to the hollow of her throat. Helen moaned loudly.

Montague grinned against her neck. Drawing the tip of his tongue back slowly down her skin he stopped long enough to nip the edge of her breast. Helen moaned loudly again. Her fingers tightened in his hair. He was making her burn brighter and brighter. She gasped, her abdomen quivering with every kiss her rained down on her skin. Each lick, each kiss had new ideas forming in his mind as to how he would drive her over the edge and into an abyss of pleasure. His lips stopped just above the waist band of her slacks. Montague looked up the line of her body, looking for permission.

Helen barely had the strength to lift her head, to lock her gaze with his. He was waiting for permission, for a sign he could go on. She let a devilish grin splay over her lips. Her body needed this, the sating of her carnal desire for the man, for Montague, looming over her like a dark god of passionate lust. Her fingers started to unhook the front closure of her pants when he stopped her. Mirroring her smile, Montague used his teeth to pull the button free. Again, using his teeth, Montague lowered the zipper as well. That told Helen he had had practice, long practice. '_James_' That name threw ice water over her mind. But it didn't last long. John's lips burned a kiss into the bare flesh above her underwear. She dug her nails into the comforter of the bed. He was doing his best to make her lose her mind, to lose all train of though and focus on the moment. It was working. Helen was feeling so much and thinking so little.

Montague felt the way her body froze and then caught back up when he kissed the exposed skin. He didn't want her thinking about anything other than him. The lust roaring through his body overrode all other thoughts in his mind. Using his hands Montague pulled the fabric of her slacks down her creamy legs, legs he wanted to have wrapped around his waist, and would soon enough. He took her slim heels and pants off, leaving them by the edge of the bed before going back up to her lips. Her taste was an addiction to him. Montague plundered her mouth with a deeply sensual kiss while his fingers danced along the inside of her thigh.

Helen's body flamed to life; she was a bright pulsing star or need. Her strength came back into play. Hooking her calf over the back of his thigh Helen rolled them so she was on top. Against her aching, heated center, he was hard between her legs. Controlling the kiss she dipped her hands down between their bodies attacking his belt, button, and zipper. She knew he wore nothing under the pants. Her hands itched to grasp him, to stroke him. Breaking the kiss, Helen gasped, "I want you so much." Montague smiled darkly and then drove his hips up against her. The shockwave of pleasure tore a shout of pleasure from her lips.

Montague rested his hands on her thighs letting her take charge. He wanted to see how hot he could get through her sensual assault. So far, she was doing a good job. Her lips attacked his pulse point, her hands dipped into the opening of his pants. Montague couldn't help but to gasp; her hands were a little cold but were quickly warming against his hot flesh. "I'm yours; eternally yours." He whispered.

"I know; I've always known." Helen replied. Her body was on fire, she was yearning for Montague, and she could have him. She gripped him, ran her hand up and down his hardened flesh. He was ready, wanting. Helen was wet, but not enough. She would need more. As if he could sense her needs Montague slipped his right hand between her legs.

Montague moved aside the thin lace covering the most intimate part of her. He drew his index finger back and forth through her wet nether lips. She was wet, dripping, but he needed her hotter. Taking his index finger Montague entered her. Helen quivered in his arms. In and out, as slowly as he could, Montague drew his finger from her. He took her to the bed beneath him. Taking his time, he peeled the last scrap of clothing she wore. He could stare at her perfection all night. Backing off the bed, Montague shucked his pants.

Helen felt young again, young at heart at least. She held out her hand to him, beckoning him back to the bed. Montague moved to the edge of the bed, crawling up her body dropping light kisses until he was nestled between her welcoming legs. Helen placed her right over his heart, "Now, right now…" He thrust foreword, the friction causing a cascade of ecstasy through her body.

Montague growled out his pleasure. Being inside of her felt so good that he nearly lost the rest of his mind. He felt like he had gained some of his life back, a life Helen was apart of. Montague had to take a second to still his body, to calm the raging storm, so he could make this mating last more than a few minutes. But she had other ideas, Montague could feel that. She brought her knees up against his waist and used her inner muscles to massage the past of him buried deep inside of her. He braced his hands on the bed and started to move in and out of her in short, strong thrusts.

Helen rose to meet Montague as much as she could. His body over hers practically pinned her to the bed to enjoy the friction they created. She dug her nails into Montague's shoulder the faster he moved. Helen gasped and moaned, tried to work with him to bring the pleasure faster. Montague still kept her pinned. She was loving it. Normally, it would be her on top, in the dominant position. John was the only one to make her want someone to dominate her. He was a force. Helen hiked her knees up higher and changed the angle. Montague drove in deeper. She groaned in pleasure.

Montague felt it then, the tight grip starting to loosen. Beneath him, Helen rotated her hips a much as she could with him pinning her down. It was enough to drive him out of his mind. He pushed in and out of her faster and faster. Together they moaned and groaned, used each other to strive for release. Montague wanted to come inside of her, wanted to spill over the edge with her. Levering himself up, changed the angle of the joining. He thrust into fast and hard. More and more and more he surged inside of her. Each time Helen moaned louder. Montague wanted her to scream out her release, get her to fully let go.

Helen was being moved up the bed, buried against the pillows as John thrust into her harder and harder. The ecstasy was driving her out of her mind and she was close, so close to being over the edge. Montague held his weight with his right hand planted on the bed and with his left he drew her right leg over his shoulder. It made his penetration deeper. She screamed for the first time; it felt so good. The tight coil in her lower abdomen loosened; he first signs of her release. With the way Montague made love to her, a few more thrusts and she would be over the edge. In and out. In and out. Two more times was all it took. Helen screamed full throated pleasurable scream as Montague buried deep inside of her, his release joining hers. Her inner muscles clamped down on him, kept him locked deep inside.

Montague's voice rose to match hers in volume as he slammed into her one more time coming with her. Every inch he could, Montague kept his skin against hers with his body quivering, his muscles shaking. They were a force of pure unbridled passion together. He wouldn't have it any other way. As long as he could keep her with him, there would be no need to know who he was before the loss of his memories. '_I love you_' His heart screamed, but the words wouldn't fall from his lips. Montague hadn't earned the right to say them. For him, he had only known her for a few days, yet his heart, his body, roared a longer involvement. Their mating proved that. They fit in every way. Montague fell to Helen's left side, gathered her close, and felt her fall into sleep. He couldn't sleep yet. There were a few things he would need to do. The more he worked his mind, the more memories came back to him, but those memories were limited to his life as a wolf. He just wished he could remember Helen before a few days ago.

**NOON:**

Montague hadn't had the heart to get dressed. Instead he wrapped a black and silver threaded sarong around his waist. Now, he stood on the balcony looking at the splendor of his the city that was now his by night. This seemed like home, made so by having Helen in his bed. Up here, up above the city Montague felt that they were alone in the world. Before tonight he would have to make a few arrangements for Helen. Two problems had already been solved. He had talked to a lawyer of the pack to draw up papers of the marriage between them even if it was for show, ordered a dress made for her for the hunt with a matching jacket and boots. But there was still the problem of Dana Whitcomb. Tonight she was going to die; that was certain. How would Helen truly react to the hunt? He would find out soon enough. Looking up at the clear blue sky Montague saw the ghost of the full moon that would shine brightly when night fell.

Helen stood at the doors wrapped in one of the fur blankets; the air was chilly and she was cold. She stood watching him as he thought standing like one of the stone wolves. Moving out onto the stone balcony Helen walked to him. Instantly she wrapped her arms around him, pillowing her head on his shoulder blade noticing that his skin was still running hot. "You weren't there when I woke up." Helen placed a gentle to his skin.

"I'm sorry darling." He angled his body and draped his arm over her shoulder, bringing her closer to him. "There were a few things I had to take care of for the hunt tonight." Montague answered. Keeping his eyes on the city he kissed the top of her head. Without her heels, Helen was much shorter. He liked it. It was cute, endearing.

"Ah, about that…" Helen pulled away and looked up at him. "I want to talk to Dana before the hunt."

"Why?" Montague asked with general confusion. Why would Helen want to talk to a woman who took so much from her? Montague didn't. He wanted her dead and he hoped his teeth were the ones to be sunk into her throat.

This was where Helen had to lie, "She might have some information on Ashley." But her daughter was not what Helen was going to ask Dana. Her plan was to get John's memories back. He was only half a person, the half she loved, but still just half. Helen couldn't keep him like that, not if she was going to love him. As far as she could tell the creature was gone from inside of him.

"You said our child was dead." Montague leaned back against the railing. It took something out of him, yet he wasn't sure what it was exactly.

"I never believed that…" Helen really didn't. She had given up the serious search months ago. There was still the hope that one day her daughter would come through the front door and be as she was before. Helen couldn't admit to herself that her daughter was dead because to do so would truly break her heart once and for all and destroy her world.

"Will this take some of the pain from your heart?" Montague opened his arms to her. Helen sighed going to him. She snuggled into him, the fur of the blanket tickling his skin as he wrapped his arm around her chilly skin. Helen only had the resolve to nod her head yes as her answer. "The, if it will make you happy, you can talk to her for one hour. No more no less and Radu will be there to guard you. No arguing that point." He threw in at the last minute. Montague wouldn't leave her alone in the same room as a woman who was as poisonous as any snake. Helen nodded yes again.

A few rooftops away a man dressed in black looked through a snipers scope at the pair standing together on the balcony that belonged to the newest wolf leader. It annoyed him to know that both of them were united. They would be even stronger now. But the goal was to get to Dana before the mongrel wolves hunted her. The woman in the wolf leader's arms would get him access. For now those two stayed alive. For now he would only watch.


	5. Chapter 5

Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

**DISTANT MEMORIES:**

**LATER THAT DAY:**

Helen sat on the couch wearing and oversized t-shirt and a baggy pair of black fleece pants that John had given her. His scent was still on her skin, around her in the air, and she was content with that. John was at the door talking to one of his wolves that had delivered four different sized boxes to the pent house half an hour ago. Both men were talking Romanian. Helen had no idea what they were saying. She was about to get annoyed when the door closed. John came to her then, an easy smile lighting his face. Her eyes locked on the boxes. "Who are those for?" She had to asked, couldn't help it really.

Montague sat gracefully down on the edge of his wooden coffee table so he could look her in the eyes, "They are for you." He handed her the first box. It was small. Montague watched with rapt attention as she opened it to reveal a ruby red beaded necklace with a carved wolf's head locket on it. "That is to commemorate your first hunt with the pack." Montague didn't give her time to speak; he just handed over the next box. Helen smiled at him as she pulled the lid off the second box. Inside the larger box were a set of boots in soft black leather with a zipper along the inside.

Helen gently brushed the tips of her fingers over the leather of hr boots. A sigh escaped her lips. "These are marvelous." Helen was no stranger to shoes, boots were her favorite. The ones lying in the box for her just took her breath away. "Thank you."

"It's worth it just seeing that look on your face." Montague felt his heart swell at the look of complete happiness on Helen's face. He handed her another box. Wasting no time Helen opened it.

"Oh my…" Helen pulled out the one piece crimson and black mid thigh length dress in velvet. It was of simple design, no flare, no embellishing, just straight clear cut lines and a V cut neck. "I don't know what to say," Helen breathed out; her voice nothing more than a whisper.

"You don't have to say anything." Montague answered moving to sit beside her. He kissed top of her head. If he could take care of her in small degrees then Montague would be happy in return. There was this lingering air of sadness around her that clawed at him. He had this need to make it better for her.

Helen set the dress back in the box and set the box aside. She curled into Montague's side just savoring his warmth. This was the most at home she had felt in a few years. The halls of her Sanctuary had become hollow to her since Ashley's death. Slowly she breathed in and out. It was to still her thundering heart more than anything. Opening her eyes Helen saw one more box lying on the table. "Is that one for me as well?" She asked lightly putting a teasing inflection on her words.

"I do believe it is." Montague moved back to sitting on the edge of the table. He handed her the last box eager to see her face light up again. As before the lid fell away and Helen was pulling out the black suede duster that went with the dress and boots. She drew her fingers across the fur lining the collar and the lapels. "It would be a great honor if you would wear this to the hunt tonight."

"I will…" Helen agreed. Then, that made her think of her one hour with Dana. She hated to ruin this comfortable, safe, atmosphere, but she had to ask. "When do I get to see her?" Montague went ramrod stiff in front of her. She could tell he hated the idea of her wanting to talk to Dana. Helen didn't like it either for that matter. Dana had answers and Helen needed them.

"In an hour, but you will not go alone." Montague resisted the urge to growl. He hated the thought of Helen going near that woman. His woman was intent on upon it though, so he relented. But she would not go alone. That he could not allow. "Radu will be your protection for the hour that you talk with her."

"Montague…" Helen started to argue.

"I will not let you be alone with her." Montague kept his tone quiet, "Don't ask me to do that." His voice pleaded this time. "I need to know that you will be protected. Please let me do this for you?"

Helen would have said no; should have said no. Seeing him in such anguish over it broke her heart and she relented, "Very well. But I don't have to like it," She added lightly. That gained her a small smile from Montague. Instantly she felt at ease again.

Montague visible slumped over. "Thank you." He honestly thought she was going to fight him on this. Every sense he held to him that she could fight her own. It wasn't just her life anymore. She was apart of his pack and the pack needed to be protected. "It would kill me if that woman harmed you."

"She won't hurt me." Helen promised. Her gun was still with the pile of clothes she had discarded last night in her passion dazed state. She could conceal it easy enough. "You never have to worry about me again." Helen slipped to the edge of the couch and kissed him sweetly.

Montague pulled back, resting his forehead to hers, "You should get dressed. Radu will be here soon to take you to Whitcomb." He rose and walked to the fire place.

"I thought you said I had a few hours." Helen followed him wrapping her arms around his waist. "I was hoping we could play some more."

"Her cell is outside of the city and it a two hour drive." Montague informed her.

"You're not going with me." A knot of panic tightened in her gut.

"I did not think you would want me to." He honestly thought she wanted to be alone on hr drive out to see Whitcomb. That was what had made him sick with worry as soon as she had brought up her single hour with Whitcomb.

"Yes, but then who would I talk to? Radu? I don't think so. I want you there." She truly did. Helen gathered up the boxes and headed back to the bedroom. Before she disappeared she said, "Thank you, again for these. It was very sweet of you."

"I am merely your loving husband doting on his beloved wife." Montague smiled. The papers the pack attorney had delivered were on the table in the kitchen just begging for her signature. He would talk to her about them on the drive to meet Dana. There was no sense in troubling her with something if she truly did not want to stay married to him.

In the bedroom Helen went over to her pile of clothes and got her gun. But her dress didn't have anywhere for her to conceal the gun. She sighed. That would be a problem. "Looking for this?" Helen didn't have to turn to know Montague was watching her as she searched for a holster for her gun. She turned holding out her hand for it. He came to her gently resting it in her hand. Montague kissed her cheek and then headed into the bathroom to take a shower. She heard the water turn on. The sound made her smile. Helen set about getting dressed.

Ten minutes later Montague had finished his shower. All he had put on were his leather pants. He stood in front of the mirror fooling with his hair. Montague pulled half of it back to let his braids show. He was tying the hair tie in place when the door slipped open slightly and Helen poked her head in. "You can come in." Montague teased finishing with his hair.

She turned her back of him where the zipper of the dress was. She had only managed to zip it half way. "Could you zip this for me?" Montague said nothing as he slowly zipped the rest of her dress. His lips rested against the back of her neck for a few seconds. They felt so soft. "Thank you." She whispered it. The temperature in the room went up a few degrees. Just to be an imp Helen turned, rested her booted foot on the edge of the sink, exposed her hose clad thigh, and secured the holster all while Montague watched with rapt attention. "You should finish getting dressed." She winked at him and left.

Playfully Montague growled at her retreating back. He was smiling when he heard her laugh. Catching the light switch he turned out the lights and crossed from the bathroom to the bedroom. In the armoire to his right he grabbed a white poet's style shirt with no collar and an opened v-neck. He reached for a matching suede duster and a pair of boots.

**1 HOUR LATER:**

Helen sat in the back of the SUV as they drove out of the city listening to Montague explain the difference between a marriage in the pack and how it was viewed in the rest of the world. In her lap, resting like a lead weight was a marriage license notarized by a judge and just waiting for their signature. Was this was she wanted? Could she legally tie herself to John after everything that happened between them? All she had ever wanted was the man next to her. Montague was her perfect other half. They had been happy, in love, and ready to be married. That was when the darkness struck their lives. Helen just hoped he would forgive her for hat she was about to do. If all went to plan then Dana would talk and Helen would be able to restore John.

Montague sighed, "I know being married isn't what you want right now…" He knew that Radu would not repeat any of what he heard.

Before she could talk herself out of it, Helen signed on one of the lines provided legalizing their marriage. She breathed a sigh of relief feeling better than she had in a long time. There was no time to wonder what she was doing? This was her choice and she was going to stick with it. Helen passed the papers over to him and Montague wasted no time in signing his name. "I always wanted to be your wife." Helen whispered. It was true. She had never married any other man, not even James. Her desire to be independent kept her from wanting it. The remembered pain of John's betrayal was like a bucket of cold water. Still, she was his wife now.

"I can feel that being your husband is the most important part of my life." Montague sealed the papers away until they could be delivered to the lawyer. When they got back into the city he would have one of his wolves take the papers to the law office and put on file.

Helen sat next to Montague while the jeep roared along the back roads of Bucharest. She was on her way to see Dana Whitcomb and if all went the way she wanted Helen would have the location of John's memories. A niggling pinch of guilt twisted at her. Should she really try and change his as he is now. She loved the man he was, the wolf that he was showing her. Could she really give him up for the monster he had been? First she had to get his memories and then she would decide later what to do with them. She might tell him. Then again, she might just destroy them and have her happily ever after.

"My lord," Radu turned his head, "We'll be at the holding area in ten minutes."

"Thank you." Montague replied while placing his hand on Helen's knee. He needed to touch her.

Helen took a deep breath. She would be face to face with the woman who was responsible for the death of her daughter. There would be the urge to kill her, to hurt, and to maim her. It would be a fight just to calm those urges and talk with Whitcomb. Helen let her left thumb play over the wedding band she wore.

Montague looked to Helen as she stared out the window. Her demeanor had changed and he understood why. Soon she would be face to face with the woman who stole her daughter. Helen had to be entertaining dark fantasies about the woman's death. Soon enough Montague would be able to provide that for her. He removed his hand from her knee and took her hand just to let her know he was by her side for as long as she needed him. Helen squeezed his hand without looking at him.

**HOLDING CELL:**

Dana Whitcomb sat in a cold metal folding chair with her arms crossed feeling every ounce of dirt and grime on her body. She had been held captive for four days without a shower or a change of clothes. Looking around at her surrounding she felt like she wanted to cry. At one time she had been a member of a once powerful organization. But now she was a captive. It was all thanks to Helen Magnus and her psychotic lover John Druitt. She hadn't accounted for her depth of devotion to Helen or to his daughter.

A door opened with a woman walking in and it was woman Dana knew; Helen Magnus. She was dressed like her captors, all velvet and fur and leather. "So, the mutts have sent you to torture me?" Dana asked.

"Oh, how the mighty have fallen." Helen scoffed signaling Radu to wait by the door. "I've seen you looking better, but soon I'll see you dead." She promised. It was a promise she would ensure was made good on. Helen made sure to stay standing to put a little fear into Dana. "You took something from me and I want it back."

"I don't have the powers to raise the dead. Too bad so sad," Dana mocked tilting her head to the side. She wasn't prepared for Helen to cross the room quickly and slap her. Dana felt blood pool in her mouth.

"That's what I'm talking about." Helen reigned in her control, clamped down on her rage. "You took something from my King and now you're going to give it back or I will break every bone in your body, starting with your fingers." Helen braced one hand on the back of Dana's chair putting her face inches from the red heads. "Now, you took John's memories and I want to know what you did with them." To ensure her point was made Helen bent Dana's left pinkie back so quick that the break could be heard by the two wolves in the room. Dana's cry of pain was music to Helen's ear. "You have four more fingers left before I start on the bones in your hand."

Pain exploded in her finger and rocketed up her arm into her brain. Dana cried out again, but quickly shut it down until the pain was a dull ache. "You King won't let me die." She warned. It was a bluff and she knew it. Dana watched Helen call her bluff with Helen breaking her left ring finger. Again Dana cried out.

Helen cleared her throat, "Three more fingers. I would start talking and you better make it good." She warned, her voice going to a low growl of barely restrained fury. "John's memories… where are they?"

"My… lab…" Dana panted. The pain was too much. She wasn't going to survive, that much she knew now.

"Good girl and as a reward," Helen relocated the ring finger that she had only popped out of place. "Now where is this lab? Bucharest?"

"Yes," Dana tried to keep her tears back but they fell anyway. "It's in the center of town. Ask Tesla."

Anger flared through her. _Tesla!_ Out of spite Helen broke Dana's middle and index finger before walking away. She took two breaths; slowly let them in and out. Then Helen took out her cell phone to dial the one she knew Nikola carried but rarely answered. Three rings later she heard Nikola's voice. "Nikola, I have a few questions for you and if you lie to me, so help me god…."

"What are you talking about?"

Helen could picture the fake look of shock on his face. "I want to know what you did to John and I want to know now!" She all but shouted.

Outside Nikola looked through a snipers scope to see Druitt leaning against the SUV and one of his guards lingering close by as he listened to Helen shout at him over the phone. He was busted and he knew it. Nikola just hoped he had a way to talk himself out of it. First, naturally, he would try lying. "I don't know what you are talking about. Where are you, you sound awful?"

"Not half as awful as you are going to look when I get my hands on you," Helen threatened. She was in a dark and deadly mood right now. If she had to she would take that rage out on Dana and relish every moment of it.

Nikola knew better than to tease her. Helen delivered on her threats one way or the other. Besides he had to find a way to get Dana out of Bucharest and away from Helen so the red headed bitch could live up to their deal. It was the only reason he was helping Dana after all that she had done. "Still don't know what you are talking about." Nikola heard a string of curse words that he never thought to hear come out of Helen's mouth and then the line went dead. If he didn't get out of here soon he would be dead. Knowing the mood Helen was in she would find a way to make the death permanent. As quietly as he could Nikola crawled back through the underbrush to make his escape. He would have to wait for another chance to get Dana.

Helen had left Dana with the other wolf guard while Radu followed her back outside. She immediately went to John Not caring who saw them Helen wrapped her arms around his waist and pillowed her head on his chest listening to the beat of his heart. How was she to tell him that Nikola was involved in all of this? Her oldest friend had proven once again that he couldn't be trusted. Nikola was more of a scorpion than John could ever have been.

Montague was stunned by Helen coming to him and embracing him. Out of instinct he held her close giving her his strength and the warmth she needed. "What happened? Did you find out what you wanted to?" He asked. Waiting for her had made him worry and wonder what exactly she was asking Dana. Now that he saw her, Montague wondered what Whitcomb had said to upset her in such a manner.

"I found out more than I needed to know actually." Helen answered. She knew Nikola had been working with Dana just by the way he had avoided teasing her, or calling her insane for thinking he ever would betray her. That was her fatal flaw; she trusted the two men who had known her for most of her life. Montague was here with her, holding her, being the man she knew while Nikola was out there making deals that benefited him and no one else. "Nikola was working with Dana."


	6. Chapter 6

Summary: John appears on the grounds of the Sanctuary with no memory other than his name and the new power he holds. A/U and Xover with the move Blood and Chocolate

Disclaimer: I own nothing of Sanctuary or the movie Blood and Chocolate.

Rating: T+

Pairing: Helen and John.

**DISTANT MEMORIES:**

**BUCHAREST:**

Nikola made his way back to the lab he had been given by the former Cabal leader, Dana. She had promised him all the resources he would need and all the test subjects he could use. He never would have thought she would have captured John Druitt. No one but Helen was capable of that. Yet, somehow she had managed it and Nikola had taken his memories. Now the only bargaining chip Nikola had against a very angry Helen Magnus was the bio-memory chip that stored all of who and what John Druitt used to be. "She will definitely find a way to kill me this time." Nikola mused slightly entertained at the thought. When Helen was infuriated she could be ten times deadlier than Druitt ever would have been. Hopefully having her lover's memories would dissuade her from harming him… he hoped at least.

**LUPE GARROU HUNTING GROUNDS:**

Montague said nothing as the SUV pulled up between the two lines of parked cars signaling his pack had gathered for the full moon, the party, and the hunt. Helen had remained silent the entire ride away from the holding cell. He wasn't sure what was going on inside of her mind and he dared not ask. Montague just held her close, waiting for her to speak. Still she said nothing. Helen only looked out the window.

"We're here my lord." Radu opened the door for Montague and his Queen to step out into the brisk night air under the light of the full moon.

"Thank you," Montague nodded stepping out of the back of the SUV. He offered his hand to Helen hoping that she would take it, let him make things right. The only way he would make things right for her would be to make Whitcomb pay for everything.

Helen looked from Montague's face, to his hand, and back to the sorrowful look on her love's face. It broke her heart to see him hurting for her. Taking his hand Helen let him pull her out of the SUV. "We close this circle." Helen stepped in close, rested her forehead against his chin and just waited until she felt steady to walk. Her whole world had turned upside down when she heard Nikola on the phone. It was true he had switched sides, worked with her enemy. She shouldn't be surprised, but she was.

"We move on," Montague promised. Oh how he wanted nothing more than to bring about all those promises. She was his world, a part of his soul; the other half of his soul. "Tonight, the pack avenges you." Leaning in he gently kissed Helen sealing the deal.

Together they walked into the clearing; Helen left Montague's side to join the others. Montague took the top of the boulder, "My Lords and Lady's. Tonight we gather to hunt our enemy once again, and that enemy is man. Tonight we gather to avenge those we have lost. This is our enemy." Radu and Dragga brought forth Dana Whitcomb. Montague nodded to Helen and she went to stand in front of Dana.

Helen looked at the shaking form of Dana wearing a blindfold. "Wish your enemy luck." Montague was beside her. She hadn't heard him move. Helen knew what that meant, knew she was to kiss the enemy. Leaning Helen fit her lips to Dana's briefly. The slightest touch wanted to make her vomit. Just as she was pulling back Dana cried out in pain Dragga had a bloody hunting knife in his hands and his eyes were amber; all the wolves had amber eyes. She looked to Montague, even his eyes were the same color. It was the blood in the air. The sight of the blood had her darker nature creeping from the bottom of her soul. Helen wanted to claim Dana's life herself. A collection of growls littered the night.

"There is a river in that forest. If you make it there and across, you have your life and your freedom. But no one ever makes it." Montague motioned to his pack to move aside and let Dana get her head start. It would thrill the wolves all the more to chase after her. Dana held her arm looking back and forth at the wolves trying to control themselves. It made Montague smile wickedly. "Glory to the Loupe Garrou who takes her life."

Montague turned to Helen slowly stripping off his coat, letting it fall to the cold stone of the boulder they were standing on. She followed suit as did the rest of the pack. As one great force, they moved into the night, slowly at first and then they all began to run. Helen looked at them, watched them as one by one each member of the pack became a wolf in a blinding light. Montague jumped down from the high boulder landing on the balls of his feet. He waited for Helen to join him and as soon as she was, they were off and running with the rest of the pack. Helen was human, so Montague would be as well. She had no trouble keeping pace with him.

They ran passed tree after tree with Montague leading Helen. He dodged and she followed until he skidded to a halt catching a scent on the wind. Whitcomb was near. His wolf began to move. "Montague!" Helen called out to him. He turned seeing Helen with Nikola's clawed fingers around her throat.

"I wouldn't move if I were you Johnny boy." Nikola warned his voice deep conveying his intent to harm Helen. He tried to not squeeze too hard. He only tried to make it look like he would hurt her.

"Let her go vampire or I will rip you limb from limb, my word to god." Montague growled baring his teeth. He knew he could shift, tackle Nikola, and bite his jugular before the vampire knew what had happened. It would have been a good idea, only, Helen was in his clutches.

"Nikola!" Dana came out of the shadows. Only she came too close to Druitt. He grabbed her about the throat. "No!" She managed to choke out.

"You let my wife go…" Montague warned, "Or she's dead and so is whatever you have going with her." Howls sang out with wolves melting out of the night surrounding them. His pack surrounded them growling at Nikola. At the word of their leader they would attack. Their queen was being threatened.

"No, I don't think so…" Nikola shook his head putting his claws closer to Helen's jugular. "Now, I can be generous. You let Dana go and Helen is free."

"You disgust me…" Helen growled trying in vane to remain still. Nikola's claws could slice into her skin easily and that would kill her.

Nikola's hand tightened his hand on Helen's throat, "Now now, that wasn't called for. Play nice Helen." With his free hand Nikola discretely slipped a disc into Helen's pocket, along with a note.

"It was you," Montague finally connected the pieces. "You injured me, clawed my back, and allowed this to take my memories." He took a step foreword stopping immediately when Nikola pulled Helen's head back and drew his fingernail over her skin; a thin trail of crimson appeared. The wolf inside of him growled signaling to the rest of the pack.

"It was me, but you fought hard and with a lot of heart," Nikola mused. "You let mine go, and I'll let yours go." He wanted so badly to tell Helen what he was up to, what he had been planning, but not right now. It was cad for him and for her. Besides, she had chosen John once again of him.

"Nikola… do something." Dana pleaded.

"Yes, Nikola, do something," Montague taunted locking his eyes with Helen. She arched her brow at him letting him know that she was fine, that she was going to get out of the way. The wolf to Helen left moved a fraction of an inch; just enough for her to ram her elbow into Nikola's gut and scramble out of the way. The wolf charged locking its teeth into Nikola's forearm. Montague in turn released Dana with his wolves following intent on keeping the hunt going.

Helen went to Montague and his fingers immediately went to her throat to make sure she wasn't too injured. "I'm fine." She took his hands, holding them close to her heart. In all the years she had known Nikola, he had only threatened her life once. Just one time. Now he had done it again to service his own petty needs and for what.

"My Lord," Dragga had returned to his human form clutching the back of Nikola's neck. "What should we do with him?"

"Let the Queen decide," Montague glared at Nikola snarling.

"Helen, don't…" Nikola stopped talking at the icy fury radiating from her eyes and the distinctive click of a hammer being pulled back on a gun; the same gun she had back in 1944. Now, he was certainly in trouble. Bullets from that gun always hurt more and Helen would never tell him why.

Helen had pulled her gun without thinking. It was the best way to save Nikola without subjecting him to the hunt. The only one who deserved to be hunted like an animal was Dana. That woman had taken so much from her and now vengeance was in order. But for Nikola… He was going to get a bullet. "I can't save you this time," Helen said aiming her gun at him. In the time between heart beats Helen calmed herself, letting the coldness seep in to take away the doubt of what she was about to do. The next heartbeat came, her finger squeezed the trigger. A crack sounded, filling the night with the scent of blood, gun powder and the scent of death. Nikola fell back to the ground.

Helen lowered her gun feeling nothing, knowing that in a few hours Nikola would be fine. He would be up and walking around annoying anyone and everyone near him. Then, after a few months, he would come back to her Sanctuary, and Helen would let him through the door. He was after all, Nikola Tesla, genius and vampire. Though, this time Helen wasn't so sure she would let him into her house knowing that he made a bargain with Whitcomb. She might just shoot him again.

Dragga crouched down near the body and opened Nikola's mouth, as was tradition a single tooth would be removed. The wolves always took a prize from the kill as a way to remember how the pack was protected, how it would always be protected. He knew his king, his leader, wanted to change the ways of the pack, but he couldn't. There was no way for them to survive outside of the old laws. In this city, at night, they were the rulers. Their law was absolute. Dragga just hoped Montague would see that. Moving away from the body he went to where Montague and his wife stood, offering the tooth to her. "A sign of your victory," He spoke low sensing a torment inside of her.

Montague took the offered trophy nodding to Dragga to join the others. As soon as Dragga was far enough away he said, "Helen, I know shooting Tesla was…"

"It was the only way to save him while making my fury at him known." Helen snapped. Montague stepped away from her instantly making her regret her tone. "I'm sorry." She put her hand on his shoulder. Montague looked at her offering her a small smile. He reached out to her, taking the necklace in his fingers where he affixed Nikola's tooth in the center. Helen didn't know how she felt about having a trophy on a necklace, but this was the way of the pack for which she would abide by.

"Tonight you are Loupe Garrou," Montague spoke proudly but with an edge of sadness. He knew Helen killed, she wouldn't have been so lucky as to escape that choice in her long life. "I'm sorry it had to be this way though," Leaning in, Montague gently kissed her forehead, "But I am proud of you."

"Proud?" Helen asked stepping away from him, "You're proud because I shot him?"

"No, proud that you protected the pack," Montague answered carefully. Helen was one to revere life, protect it at all costs. For her to take life would take a part of her soul. She only killed to protect. She had protected the pack rather than protect a man who constantly put his needs ahead of the greater good.

"I would have done it anyway." Helen lowered her head shoving her hands in her pockets where she felt something. Pulling it out, she saw a small disc with two thin needles in it, luminescent liquid, and the label _John Druitt_ on it. There was even a note attached to it. The note was in Nikola's descriptive script; a mixture of Doctor and genius chicken scratch. Helen had learned long ago to decipher his writing.

"What is it?" Montague asked making sure to keep his place in the distance between them. Every move he made was only after Helen made her choice.

Helen showed him the disc with his name written on it. "It's you… or who you used to be." She was torn in two. On one hand she wanted Montague, her love for him growing stronger and stronger. On the other she wanted John back. John was the reason, the easy way out of not having a meaningful relationship. Montague offered her everything she had long since been denied; true love. That alone scared her. Montague was the man John should have been.

He backed away from her, from the disc. "No," He growled. "I want that thing no where near me." Montague warned.

"You could have your memories back." Helen argued. Why was she trying to hard?

"I do not want them." Running his left hand through his hair Montague paced. "My memories, my personality, made me a ruthless soulless killer. I will not become that again."

"You had a few redeeming qualities." Helen muttered.

"Apparently not enough for you to keep me and help me," He snapped.

"You have no idea how hard it was for me…"

"What about the man I was? Did it ever occur to you how he may have suffered from the madness?" Why was he arguing with her? He made his desire clear. There was no way in hell he would ever become that man again. "You're just using it as an excuse to bury who I am now. How stupid can I be to think a human would want a wolf?" He scoffed crossing his arms over his chest.

"I do want you." Helen said and walked towards him with the disc still in her hand. She put it and the note back in her pocket. "I want you, Montague. I want everything that you are." Tears sprang to her eyes. "John aroused my darkest desires, you give me love. You and John may wear the same face, speak with the same voice, look at me with the same eyes, but it's you I want." Tentatively Helen reached out, cupped his face, and wiped away the single tear that had fallen down his cheek.

Montague let his anger fade, let his arms drop and encircle his waist. "Don't make me leave." He pleaded. Montague couldn't bare the thought of having to once again be a mad man, a murderer. It would kill him.

"Never," Helen shook her head. "I chose you. John is dead to me." Under the light of a full moon she kissed him with all of her heart and her love. They would be together now like she always wanted. This time he would have something a little extra, a new family. They had a pack to take care of. Helen found she wanted the life Montague offered her. And she was going to take it.

**THE END**


End file.
